幽默英文冷笑話
從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)幽默英文冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
幽默英文冷笑話1：
Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you? The man behind the bar asked.
Joe looked at Fred and said, Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?
Yes, that's all right. Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that.
The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. Which of you asked for the clean glass?
喬和佛瑞德在一個(gè)村子里幫忙蓋一間房子。天氣很暖和，到處都有許多灰塵。12點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候，他們覺(jué)得非?？诳?，便停下來(lái)去吃午飯了。他們找到最近的一家酒吧，走進(jìn)去坐下吃他們的三明治。
下午好，先生。你們想要點(diǎn)什么?柜臺(tái)后面的伺應(yīng)問(wèn)道。
喬看了看佛瑞德說(shuō)：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脫啤酒。這樣可以嗎，佛瑞德?
好的，可以。佛瑞德說(shuō)。然后他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)去跟柜臺(tái)后面的侍應(yīng)說(shuō)：我要啤酒裝在一個(gè)干凈的杯子里!別忘了。
柜臺(tái)后面的侍應(yīng)倒?jié)M杯子后，拿給喬和佛瑞德，接著說(shuō)：剛才哪一位要干凈的杯子的?
幽默英文冷笑話2：
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of hisdomain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(嚴(yán)格地，嚴(yán)厲地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(勸告，建議) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell thesechickenhearted(膽小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
古代有一個(gè)國(guó)王，他想證明他領(lǐng)土內(nèi)的男人并非像人們傳說(shuō)的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國(guó)里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說(shuō)，哪個(gè)男人膽敢不說(shuō)實(shí)話，就會(huì)受到嚴(yán)厲的懲罰。
然后，他叫所有聽(tīng)從妻子的命令和意見(jiàn)的男人都走向大廳的左側(cè)。所有的男人都站到了左側(cè)，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)子男人站到了右側(cè)。
國(guó)王說(shuō)：看到我們國(guó)家里還有一個(gè)真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當(dāng)中只有你一個(gè)人站在大廳的右側(cè)。
陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因?yàn)樵谖页鲩T之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。
幽默英文冷笑話3：
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.
一個(gè)年輕人在被雇用幾個(gè)星期后，被叫到人事經(jīng)理的辦公室。
這是什么意思?經(jīng)理問(wèn)，當(dāng)你申請(qǐng)這份工作時(shí)，你告訴我們有五年工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)，現(xiàn)在我們發(fā)現(xiàn)這其實(shí)是你的第一份工作。
嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說(shuō)需要找一個(gè)有想象力的人嘛。
幽默英文冷笑話4：
After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for .
Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead: Horse, saddle and bridle for .
Immediately someone responded to the ad, That's an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What's wrong with your horse?
Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously(錯(cuò)誤地) typed ad.
一個(gè)人衷愛(ài)的馬死了，他打算在報(bào)上登則廣告如下：50元賣馬鞍和馬韁繩。
無(wú)意中報(bào)紙?jiān)趶V告語(yǔ)中加了個(gè)逗號(hào)，讀起來(lái)成這樣了，50元賣馬，馬鞍和馬韁繩。
馬上就有人詢問(wèn)這則廣告，這馬的價(jià)格真是太便宜了，詢問(wèn)者說(shuō)，馬有什么毛病嗎?
哦，它是死的，安排這條誤入的廣告的人回答道。
以上就是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)的幽默英文冷笑話，希望大家喜歡!
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