英語短笑話精選

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)碛⒄Z短笑話精選，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語短笑話精選1

　　One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

　　"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　一天，遠(yuǎn)東百貨公司的女裝大減價(jià)，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　他竭力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮動(dòng)雙臂，擠過人群。

　　“你干嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得象位紳士嗎?”

　　“聽著，”他說，“我已經(jīng)象紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個(gè)小時(shí)。從現(xiàn)在起，我要表現(xiàn)得象個(gè)女士。”

　　英語短笑話精選2

　　An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $0 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

　　"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

　　"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

　　"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

　　一位美國(guó)人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場(chǎng)車禍中喪生。他們到達(dá)天堂的門口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解釋說是搞錯(cuò)了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什么都沒有發(fā)生過一樣。”

　　“成交!”美國(guó)人說。立刻，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己毫不損傷地站在現(xiàn)場(chǎng)附近。

　　“其他人在哪兒?”一名醫(yī)生問道。

　　“我離開之前，”那名美國(guó)人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價(jià)，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應(yīng)該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”

　　英語短笑話精選3

　　A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

　　有兩個(gè)獵人包機(jī)前往一座森林，到了以后，他們和飛行員約定好兩周后來接。兩周后，他們射了許多動(dòng)物，而且打算把這些動(dòng)物全部搬上那架小飛機(jī)，可是飛行員說：“這架飛機(jī)除了一頭野牛外，沒辦法再多載了。你們必須把其他的獵物都留下。” 獵人說：“但是去年另一個(gè)飛行員開一樣的飛機(jī)，就讓我們帶兩只水牛，還有一些其他的動(dòng)物上機(jī)!” 因?yàn)樗麄冞@樣抗議，所以那個(gè)新飛行員想了一想后，盡管還是有點(diǎn)存疑，最后還是妥協(xié)說：“好吧!如果去年可以做到，今年應(yīng)該也可以。”所以他裝了兩頭水牛和一些其他的動(dòng)物。結(jié)果飛機(jī)起飛五分鐘后，就墜落在鄰近的地方。這3個(gè)人從飛機(jī)爬出來看了看四周，其中一個(gè)獵人對(duì)另一個(gè)說：“你認(rèn)為我們現(xiàn)在在哪兒?” 那個(gè)人瞧了一下，說：“我想大概距離去年墜機(jī)的地方西邊一英哩遠(yuǎn)!”

　　以上就是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)淼挠⒄Z短笑話精選，希望大家喜歡!

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