幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事五則

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放松自己的心情。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事：幫倒忙

　　"I'll need to see your license and registration,"says the highway patrolman after stopping a middle-aged couple."You were speeding.”

　　高速公路上的警察攔住了一對(duì)中年夫婦，說(shuō):“我要看看你的駕駛證和車證，你超速了.”

　　"But，officer,"says the husband, "I was way under the speed limit.”

　　“可是，長(zhǎng)官，我一直在限制以下的速度開(kāi)車。”大夫說(shuō)。

　　"Sir, you were doing 63 in a 55 Zone.”

　　“先生，你在限速55英里的地區(qū)開(kāi)到了63英里。”

　　"I was not speeding!"insists the man. 'Your radar gun must be broken. "

　　“我沒(méi)有超速，”那個(gè)人堅(jiān)特說(shuō):“你的雷達(dá)掃瞄一定有問(wèn)題了。”

　　At this point, the wife leans over. "It''s no use arguing with him, officer,"she says apologetically."He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."

　　這時(shí)，他的老婆湊了上來(lái):“警察先生，你不用跟他爭(zhēng)論了，”她帶著抱歉的口氣說(shuō):“每一次喝酒，他就變得這么固執(zhí)。”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事：判斷失誤

　　The owner visits his factory and is shocked to see a man leaning against a wall，drinking coffee, "How much do you make?" he demands.“Eighty dollars a day,“is the reply.The owner hands him and says，“Get out,and don't come back!"

　　工廠的老板下廠來(lái)檢查，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)人倚著喝咖啡，這使他感到很吃驚。“你一天掙多少錢(qián)?"老板問(wèn)。"80美元一天。”那人回答。老板遞給他80美元說(shuō);“你走吧，不要再來(lái)上班了。”

　　Two minutes later the foreman comes in and asks,"Where's the delivery man who was just here?"

　　兩分鐘后，工頭進(jìn)來(lái)問(wèn):“剛才在這兒的郵遞員哪兒去了?”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事：大夫的許諾

　　A guy spots his doctor in the shopping center. He stops and says. "Two months ago when I was in your office， you told me to go home，get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. "I didn't?"the doctor says."Then what are you doing out of bed?"

　　一個(gè)人在購(gòu)物中心看見(jiàn)了給他看病的大夫，他叫住了大夫說(shuō):“兩個(gè)月前，我到你辦會(huì)室去看病，你讓我回來(lái)躺在床上，等你的電話。但你從來(lái)就沒(méi)打過(guò)電話.”

　　大夫說(shuō):“我沒(méi)打過(guò)電話嗎?那你下床干什么呢?”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事：健忘小姐

　　My friend Pam has a problem remembering numbers.After moving. she gave out her new phone listing. One.acquairitance tried to call hey but reached a travel agency. The agent said she'd received a lot of calls for Pam. The caller apologized and said she'd try to reach Pam at her office.

　　我的朋友潘，特別不善于記數(shù)字。她搬走后，把她的新電話號(hào)碼給了大家。一個(gè)熟人議圖給她打電話，結(jié)果卻打到了旅游局.那里的代理商說(shuō)，他已替潘接了很多電話。打電話的人道了歉，并說(shuō)她再往潘的辦公室打電話我她。

　　"If you do get hold of her，”the agent replied，"will you tell her that her order is in at Sears?"

　　“如果你能找到她的話，”代理商回答說(shuō):“你能告訴她嗎?她在希爾斯商店訂的貨已經(jīng)到了。”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)小故事：精確的人

　　The expediter in the office where I worked would buy needed parts for equipment and make a list of the purchases.Then she would give the paperwork to oar boss—a known stickler for details—for his approval. Un April Fool's Day, the expediter and her co-worker turned in a list including a dress and matching shoes. Our boss took one look at this request for reimbursement and shouted for me to call these two people into his office immediately. Fearing that he wasn't going to take their joke well，they quietly went in to see him.”Look，you two，I' m a busy man !“he deadpanned."I need to know what color dress and what size shoes!”

　　在我辦公室工作的調(diào)配員每次需買(mǎi)設(shè)備零件時(shí)，總要先列個(gè)清單，然后把它交給我們的老板—一位很拘泥細(xì)節(jié)的人，去批準(zhǔn)。在愚人節(jié)那天，調(diào)配員和她的同事遞上一張單子，單子上列了一件上衣和一雙跑鞋。我們的老板看了看要錢(qián)的單子，然后朝我喊，讓我把她們倆馬上叫到辦奮室來(lái)。她們擔(dān)心老板不欣賞她們所開(kāi)的玩笑，所以進(jìn)去后一句話也沒(méi)說(shuō)。“瞧你們這倆人，我是個(gè)忙人，”老板訓(xùn)斥著:“單子上要把上衣的顏色和靯子的尺碼列清楚。”