在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)砩钣哪?a href='http://www.rzpgrj.com/english/yuedu/xiaohua/' target='_blank'>英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活幽默英語笑話：生日派對

　　On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.

　　在教師節(jié)里，一位幼兒園教師正在接受孩子們送給她的禮物，首先花匠的兒子遞上他的禮物。

　　A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什么……是一些花。

　　B:That is right, but how did you know?

　　是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?

　　A:Just a wild guess.

　　瞎猜的。

　　(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.

　　第二個學(xué)生是糖果店老板的女兒。老師把她送的禮物舉起來。)

　　A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。

　　C:That's right. But how did you know?

　　對了，但你怎么知道的?

　　A:Just a lucky guess.

　　碰巧猜出來的。

　　(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.

　　第三份禮物來自于酒店老板的兒子，老師把它舉起來，但有液體漏了出來，她用手蘸了一滴漏出來的液體，嘗了一下味道。)

　　A:Is it wine?

　　是果酒嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.

　　老師又用舌頭嘗了一滴漏出來的東西。)

　　A:Is it champagne?

　　是香檳嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　A:Now, I give up. What is it?

　　好吧，我猜不著了，里面到底是什么呢?

　　D:A puppy.

　　是一只小狗。

　　生活幽默英語笑話：狂歡圣誕

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

　　小鎮(zhèn)的一個警官讓一個在主大道上超速駕駛的摩托車手停下來。

　　A:But officer, I can explain.

　　長官，請聽我解釋。

　　B:Just be quiet, I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.

　　閉嘴，我要讓你在監(jiān)獄里冷靜冷靜，直到警長回來為止。

　　A:But，officer, I just wanted to say. . .

　　但是，長官，我只是想說……。

　　B:I said to keep quiet!You're going to jail!

　　我說過閉嘴，你要進監(jiān)獄了!

　　(A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner.

　　兒個小時后警官去看囚犯。)

　　B:Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.

　　幸虧警長今天參加他女兒的婚禮去了，回來后他心情肯定比較好。

　　A:Don't count on it，I'm the groom.

　　別指望啦。我就是新郎。

　　生活幽默英語笑話：新潮電玩誕

　　Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.

　　教授正在給全班學(xué)生發(fā)考卷。

　　A:You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you under-stand ?

　　你們有整整兩個小時的時間，超過規(guī)定時間交上來的考卷，不管什么原因，我絕對不收，明白嗎?

　　B:Yes.

　　是。

　　( After two hours.兩小時以后。)

　　A:Time is up.

　　時間到。

　　B:Wait.

　　等一下。

　　(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.

　　大約巧分鐘以后，一個學(xué)生走向講臺，并把卷子給了教授。)

　　A:Didn't you hear what I said?

　　你難道沒聽到我說的話嗎?

　　R:Yes，I did. But do you know who I am!professor?

　　不，我聽到了，但你知道我是誰嗎，教授?

　　A:No.

　　不知道。

　　B:Terrific.

　　太好了。

　　Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.

　　然后他把他的考卷塞進整堆考卷中。