在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)趣味幽默故事，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：孩子們天生就是喜劇演員

　　In response to the request for "kids growing up" stories, here's one told to me many years ago by some friends about their five一year一old daughter Laura. The mother calls it "The Kevin Incident.” The father just says, "Like mother, like daughter.”

　　我想講一個(gè)關(guān)于孩子成長(zhǎng)的故事，這是很多年以前我的一個(gè)朋友告訴我的關(guān)于她五歲女兒勞拉的故事。這個(gè)母親稱之為“凱文事件”，而父親卻說(shuō)“有其母必有其女”。

　　It seems that Laura came home from Nursery School one day and announced that Kevin had pee一peed in the yard. Since Laura was one of the older children in the Nursery School group, her parents wanted to impress on her that she should try to help the younger children learn right from wrong, so they said, "Well，Laura honey, how big is Kevin?" Whereupon Laura held her two index fingers an inch or so apart and said, "Oh, about this big.”

　　一天，勞拉從幼兒園回到家，她告訴父母說(shuō)凱文正在院子里小便。因?yàn)閯诶谟變簣@的孩子里算是姐姐，她的父母想要給她樹(shù)立一種觀念，那就是她應(yīng)當(dāng)幫助年紀(jì)比她小的孩子知道什么是對(duì)，什么是錯(cuò)。所以他們問(wèn)道:“勞拉，親愛(ài)的，凱文多大?”于是勞拉伸出兩個(gè)食指，中間距離大約一英寸左右，然后說(shuō):“嗯，有這么大吧。”

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：真實(shí)的幽默

　　Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. Any way there was this young nurse. Every time she came in, she talked to him like a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice" And how are we doing this morning?"

　　哈里住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院，他是一個(gè)老人，負(fù)責(zé)護(hù)理他的是一個(gè)年輕的護(hù)士。每次她走進(jìn)病房，都會(huì)像對(duì)待小孩一樣地和哈里說(shuō)話。她會(huì)用一個(gè)施恩者的態(tài)度問(wèn):“今天上午過(guò)的好嗎?”

　　Well, this is a story of revenge. He had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You know where the juice went.

　　這是哈里對(duì)她報(bào)復(fù)的故事。哈里領(lǐng)到了早飯，從托盤里把蘋果汁拿下來(lái)，放到自己床前的架子上，然后他把它們?nèi)康惯M(jìn)了尿罐里。你該明白會(huì)是什么效果吧。

　　The nurse came in and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. "It seems we are a little cloudy today…”At this, he snatches the bottle out of her hand, and saying "Well，I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

　　過(guò)了一會(huì)兒那個(gè)護(hù)士進(jìn)了病房，她拿起尿罐看了看，說(shuō)道“今天好像有點(diǎn)渾。”這時(shí)，哈里把瓶子從她手里奪過(guò)來(lái)，說(shuō)道:“那我再倒一遍，或許這次我過(guò)濾一下效果會(huì)好些的。”

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：河上漂流

　　A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River all inclusive.”

　　一個(gè)男人路過(guò)旅行社時(shí)，看到一個(gè)廣告欄上面寫著“順著墨累河漂流四天，全部費(fèi)用只需40美元”。

　　Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.

　　面對(duì)如此低價(jià)的誘惑，他大步走進(jìn)旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后說(shuō):“我報(bào)名墨累河之游。”眨眼間，旅行社的店員抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那個(gè)人打昏了。

　　When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.

　　當(dāng)那個(gè)人醒來(lái)之后，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被捆在一個(gè)木筏上，正沿著河水往下漂呢。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒在河的另一邊，他看到一個(gè)和他處境一樣的人。

　　" Murray cruise?" he calls out.

　　"40美元墨累河之游?”他喊到。

　　"Yep!" says the man on the other side.

　　“是呀!”那人答道。

　　"I'll bet you we don't even get breakfast,”he yells.

　　“我打賭我們還沒(méi)吃早飯呢。”他喊道。

　　"Well，”calls the other man, “we did last year.”

　　“對(duì)，”另一個(gè)人說(shuō)，“我們?nèi)ツ瓿赃^(guò)了。”