外國(guó)最新幽默故事三則

　　笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂(lè)的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單，文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn)，給人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)最新幽默故事三則，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國(guó)最新幽默故事：狡猾的惡棍

　　Joe Blow the aspiring young executive was late for an appointment and in the process of doubling the speed limit in his BMW when a VW beetle pulled out in front of him. He could not slow down fast enough and slammed into the beetle.

　　喬勃，這個(gè)年輕有為的總經(jīng)理為了能準(zhǔn)時(shí)赴約，以超過(guò)限速兩倍的速度駕駛著他的那輛寶馬車，這時(shí)前面的一輛大眾甲殼蟲(chóng)汽車突然停了下來(lái)。因?yàn)閱滩能囁偬旄緹o(wú)法及時(shí)剎車，于是一下子撞到了甲殼蟲(chóng)的后面。

　　Surprisingly, the BMW was totaled while the beetle was in good shape. The driver of the compact was amused at the condition of the two cars.

　　更讓人費(fèi)解的是，只有他的寶馬車被撞壞了，而那輛甲殼蟲(chóng)卻安然無(wú)恙。那輛車的司機(jī)也為此感到很驚訝。

　　The executive was so enraged that he had a hard time keeping from attacking the driver of the VW. The executive drew a large circle on the ground off to one side. He said, "You get in that circle and stay there, or I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” The executive got a tire iron out of his trunk and smashed the windshield of the beetle. The man in the circle just smiled. The executive just got madder and madder. He smashed the headlights and taillights. When he looked back, the other man was snickering to himself. This so infuriated the executive that he smashed in the hood of the beetle. The other man was laughing so hard that he could barely stand up.

　　年輕的經(jīng)理怒發(fā)沖冠，極力地壓制著要揍那個(gè)司機(jī)一頓的沖動(dòng)。他走下車在路邊畫(huà)了一個(gè)很大的圈，然后說(shuō):“你給我走到圈子里來(lái)并呆在那里，否則我要你好看!”說(shuō)著他從后備箱里拿出一個(gè)輪胎鐵心，然后用力將甲殼蟲(chóng)的擋風(fēng)玻璃砸得粉碎。站在圈里的那個(gè)人只是笑了笑。喬勃快要被氣瘋了。他又砸碎了甲殼蟲(chóng)的前燈和尾燈?？僧?dāng)他回頭看時(shí)，那一個(gè)人還在那里暗笑。他又一次被激怒了，這次他把甲殼蟲(chóng)的車棚也給砸了。此刻那一個(gè)人笑得都直不起腰了。

　　Unable to stand any more, the frustrated executive tromped away. About this time a fellow in a pick up truck pulled up and offered the VW driver a ride. "What are you laughing about? He just trashed your car.” "Well"，the other man said，" but I have gone out of that circle three times.”

　　喬勃再也受不了了，憤憤地離開(kāi)了。這時(shí)一個(gè)拖車司機(jī)過(guò)來(lái)讓那個(gè)甲殼蟲(chóng)司機(jī)搭便車，并問(wèn)他:“剛才他在砸你的車你怎么還笑呀?”“是呀，”另一個(gè)人回答說(shuō):“可是我剛才曾經(jīng)三次偷偷地溜出了圈子!”

　　外國(guó)最新幽默故事：拼字比賽

　　A student at the National Spelling Bee had been given a particularly difficult word to spell. Apparently having some trouble knowing how to start, the student asked if he could buy a vowel.

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生在全國(guó)拼詞比賽上遇到了一個(gè)極難拼寫(xiě)的詞。顯然他是不知該從何下手了，于是這個(gè)學(xué)生便詢問(wèn)能不能買(mǎi)一個(gè)元音字母。

　　外國(guó)最新幽默故事：發(fā)生在院子里的怪事

　　A woman with a broken ankle was gingerly hobbling along on crutches as she attempted to walk her dog. Because of her handicap, however, she was having a lot oftrouble keeping the dog under control. Finally, the dog lunged forward, the leash slipped out of her hand, and the dog went running down the street. She called and called, but the dog wouldn't come back. Since she couldn’t chase after it, she eventually gave up and went home.

　　一個(gè)跛腳的女人手里拄著一根拐杖，跟在她的狗后面一瘸一拐地往前走。因?yàn)樗耐饶_不方便所以很難控制住她的狗，這時(shí)牽著狗的鏈子從這個(gè)女人手中脫落了，這條狗沿著馬路跑了下去。不管她喊什么，這條狗都不理睬，她也知道自己根本不可能追上，于是她也就放棄了努力，獨(dú)自一人回家了。

　　A couple of hours later she heard something scratching at the door. When she went to the door she found her dog standing there with a dead rabbit in its mouth. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit. She knewshe would never be able to tell them what happened, and since they were out of town for the weekend，she hit upon a plan.

　　幾個(gè)小時(shí)后她聽(tīng)到有什么東西在敲門(mén)的聲音。打開(kāi)門(mén)一看，她的那只狗正站在門(mén)外，嘴里還叼著一只死兔子。仔細(xì)一看，正是在鄰居家養(yǎng)的那只兔子。她知道決不能讓那家人知道這件事。因

　　為，他們都出城度周末去了，于是她想出了一個(gè)好主意。

　　She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit back to the neighbors’backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage. They would never suspect what really happened.

　　她把死兔子放進(jìn)浴缸里洗干凈，用吹風(fēng)機(jī)把它身上的毛吹干，然后又把它重新放回鄰居后院的兔籠里。她想鄰居回來(lái)以后一定會(huì)認(rèn)為兔子是自己死在籠子里的，決不會(huì)想到這里發(fā)生的一切。

　　On Monday，there was a knock at the door, and when she answered，there was her neighbor standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said，"Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said，"Well，something really strange is going on inmy backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend，it was back in the cage !”

　　星期一的早上，這個(gè)女人的鄰居敲開(kāi)了她的房門(mén)。他問(wèn)這個(gè)女人在周末有沒(méi)有看到什么人去過(guò)他家的后院。女人回答說(shuō)沒(méi)有。“那你有沒(méi)有看到什么奇怪的事情發(fā)生在房中或者院子里?”這個(gè)女人仍回答沒(méi)有。然后她問(wèn):“為什么你要問(wèn)我這些問(wèn)題?發(fā)生什么事了?”那個(gè)鄰居回答:“我家的后院出了件怪事。上周五我家的兔子死了，我們把它埋在后院里，可是當(dāng)我們度完周末回到家后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)它又重新回到籠子里了。”