外國最新幽默笑話閱讀

　　笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn)，給人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)硗鈬钚掠哪υ挘Ｍ蠹蚁矚g!

　　外國最新幽默笑話：疼痛之極

　　A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

　　一個傷痕累累的建筑工人沖進(jìn)了一家醫(yī)院，醫(yī)生馬上讓護(hù)士去拿止痛藥，“不必麻煩您了，醫(yī)生。”那人說道，“比這更痛的傷我都經(jīng)歷過了。”

　　"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

　　“比現(xiàn)在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫(yī)生問。

　　"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."

　　“我先說說讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打獵的時候突然想要大便，于是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了，那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”

　　The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

　　醫(yī)生聽后顫抖了一下，說道“太可怕了，那告訴我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”

　　"When I reached the end of the chain."

　　“當(dāng)我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時候。”

　　外國最新幽默笑話：與上帝為伍

　　A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.

　　一個農(nóng)民買了一塊破舊荒廢的農(nóng)場，他準(zhǔn)備把這塊農(nóng)場變成興旺的園林。然而目前這塊地是雜草叢生，房屋破舊不堪，四周的籬笆也是東倒西歪。

　　During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

　　在他第一天工作的時候，城里的一個傳教士給他送去了祝福:“愿上帝與你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)你的夢想吧!”

　　A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

　　幾個月以后，那個傳教士又一次來到農(nóng)場，快看那，這里與上次相比簡直是天壤之別。房屋重新修好了，條件也比以前好多了，成群的牛羊在歡快地吃著青草，地里的莊稼也整整齊齊的排列著。

　　"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

　　“太神奇了”，傳教士驚呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)了你的夢想!”

　　"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

　　“沒錯，教士，”那個農(nóng)民說道:“可你也要記住當(dāng)初這個農(nóng)場只由上帝一人支配的時候是個什么樣子!”

　　外國最新幽默笑話：教育階段

　　The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

　　一天工程系的主任走進(jìn)一個班，說道:“早上好。”

　　The whole class chorused" Good Morning”

　　全班齊聲回復(fù):“早上好。”

　　"Hi，you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

　　“你們是大一的吧?”主任問道。

　　One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

　　一個膽子比較大的同學(xué)問主任是怎么知道的。

　　"Well，”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class，if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores，they quietly fold their papers away，and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

　　“嗯，”主任說，“如果是大一的新生，當(dāng)我向他們問早上好的時候，他們也一定會說‘早上好’的。如果他們是大二的學(xué)生，他們會輕輕地合上課本，然后集體望著我。大三的學(xué)生則會從書本上抬起頭看我一眼，然后馬上又繼續(xù)讀書了。大四的學(xué)生則會對我視而不見，繼續(xù)看書。至于研究生班的學(xué)生，我向他們問早上好，他們就會把這句話寫在筆記上。”

　　外國最新幽默笑話：荒誕哲學(xué)

　　"God is Dead.” –Nietzsche

　　尼采說:“上帝死了。”

　　"Nietzsche is dead. " –God

　　上帝說:“尼采死了。”

　　"Therefore, Nietzsche is God. "-Plato

　　柏拉圖說:“這樣看來，尼采就是上帝。”