英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話6則

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：Who Are Crooks?

　　A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction: HALF THE CITY COUNCIL AREN'T CROOKS.

　　誰(shuí)是騙子?

　　一次，一份報(bào)紙刊登了一篇社論，直接指出市議會(huì)里有一半人是騙子。在被罰以拘留后，編輯發(fā)表了以下聲明：市議會(huì)里有一半人不是騙子。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：Churchill and Bernard Shaw

　　Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was

　　tall and lean. Both of them were humorists.

　　When they met at a reception, Churchill said to Shaw with a smile, Mr. Shaw, when people see you, they must think there is a famine in our country. Yes, said Bernard Shaw, but they must think you are responsible for it.

　　丘吉爾和肖伯納

　　丘吉爾是二戰(zhàn)期間英國(guó)的首相，他是個(gè)又矮又胖的男人。肖伯納是著名作家，又高又瘦。他們倆都是幽默詼諧的人。

　　一次，他們?cè)谝粋€(gè)招待會(huì)上碰面了。丘吉爾微笑著對(duì)肖伯納說(shuō)：肖伯納先生，人們看到您，一定　 為我們國(guó)家正在鬧饑荒。對(duì)，肖伯納回答：但他們一定認(rèn)為這是您造成的。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：Coincidence

　　A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.

　　What a terrible voice! he said. Do you know who she is?

　　Yes, was the answer. She is my wife.

　　Oh, I beg your pardon. The man said, Of course her voice is not bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song.

　　I did. was the answer.

　　巧合

　　一位女士正在唱歌。一位客人轉(zhuǎn)身對(duì)他旁邊的男士批評(píng)道：

　　多難聽(tīng)的嗓音!他說(shuō)，你知道她是誰(shuí)嗎?

　　知道，男士回答，她是我太太。

　　噢，請(qǐng)你原諒。客人說(shuō)，當(dāng)然，她的嗓音并不壞，但那歌實(shí)在太差了。我想知道那是誰(shuí)寫(xiě)的歌。

　　是我。男士回答道。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：

　　A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. I pray to God that you are speaking the truth, his wife says.

　　May God strike me dead if I am lying.

　　Then I pray to God that you are lying, his wife said hopefully.

　　一個(gè)男人因嗜賭而經(jīng)常回家很晚，為此他妻子從沒(méi)停止過(guò)罵他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后，他妻子指責(zé)他又去賭博了，可他發(fā)誓說(shuō)這次是因?yàn)楣ぷ?。我祈禱上帝你說(shuō)的是實(shí)話，妻子說(shuō)。

　　如果我說(shuō)謊上帝便賜我于死。

　　那我祈禱上帝你是在說(shuō)謊。他妻子充滿希望地說(shuō)。

英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：睡前禱告詞

　　Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

　　Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

　　And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

　　朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說(shuō)，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”

　　媽媽打斷她說(shuō)：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”

　　朱莉葉回答說(shuō)：“因?yàn)槲以诘乩砜季砩鲜沁@么寫(xiě)的。”

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典冷笑話：幾月走的

　　When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

　　The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

　　杰克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點(diǎn)頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。于是便有好心的人教他說(shuō)，“下次鞠躬的時(shí)候，你就在心里數(shù)：正月、二月、……一直數(shù)到十二月為止，然后再直起身來(lái)。這樣，禮節(jié)就周全了。”

　　第二天，杰克見(jiàn)到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開(kāi)了。杰克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問(wèn)過(guò)路人：“我叔叔幾月走的?”