英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話6則

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：A New Employee

　　Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

　　What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

　　Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

　　一個(gè)年輕人在被雇用幾個(gè)星期后，被叫到人事經(jīng)理的辦公室。

　　這是什么意思?經(jīng)理問(wèn)，當(dāng)你申請(qǐng)這份工作時(shí)，你告訴我們有五年工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)，現(xiàn)在我們發(fā)現(xiàn)這其實(shí)是你的第一份工作。

　　嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說(shuō)需要找一個(gè)有想象力的人嘛。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽：當(dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：Not Knowing Her Well

　　Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?

　　Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.

　　我跟她還不熟

　　妻子：比爾，住在對(duì)面那所房子的那個(gè)男人早上出門前總要吻一下妻子，晚上回來(lái)時(shí)再吻一下，你為什么不那樣做呢?

　　丈夫：哦，我跟她還不是很熟。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：

　　As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rubbing my sore leg, my wife slept on.

　　Then there was a faint cough from the nursery . Debra leaped out of bed, running past me down the hall to our baby's room. When she returned, she looked at me and said, What on earth are you doing on the floor?

　　剛剛作了父親，我就很快體會(huì)到母性本能的涵義了。一個(gè)深夜，醫(yī)院召我去照應(yīng)一位病人。我悄悄地在黑暗中起了床，但一只腳絆在一個(gè)玩具上，撲通一聲摔在地板上。我倒在那里，揉著疼痛的腿，妻子毫無(wú)反應(yīng)地繼續(xù)睡著。

　　突然，保育宣傳來(lái)輕微的咳嗽聲。戴博拉躍下床來(lái)，從我身邊跑過(guò)，下了客廳到我們嬰兒的房間。她返回來(lái)時(shí)，看了看我說(shuō)：你究竟在地板上干什么?

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：Neither 都不是

　　It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.

　　At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"

　　"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."

　　正值當(dāng)?shù)馗?jìng)選時(shí)期，候選人到他的區(qū)域的千家萬(wàn)戶登門拜訪。

　　候選人來(lái)到了一家門口，一個(gè)小男孩開了門。“告訴我，年輕人，”候選人問(wèn)道，“你母親是在共和黨還是在民主黨?”

　　“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”

　　英語(yǔ)幽默冷笑話：誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me,Johnny.

　　老師: 約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什么地方。

　　Johnny: It's there , sir.

　　約翰尼: 先生，在這兒。

　　Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

　　老師: 對(duì)了。薩默，你來(lái)回答是誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　Sammy: Johnny, sir.

　　薩默: 先生，是約翰尼。