下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人在河中心的船上釣魚(yú)，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開(kāi)始掙扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子聽(tīng)到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰(shuí)能告訴我這是為什么? 一個(gè)女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長(zhǎng)聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.

　　One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

　　我五歲的兒子對(duì)摩托車有強(qiáng)烈的愛(ài)好。只要看見(jiàn)一輛摩托車，他就會(huì)高興得哇哇直叫，并激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。

　　一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說(shuō)話，有一輛摩托車開(kāi)了過(guò)去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

　　The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

　　Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

　　在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

　　這個(gè)問(wèn)題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽(tīng)到雷聲?

　　尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇?，耳朵在后?/p>

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　It's His Fault

　　Billy and Bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

　　Last Saturday their mother said to them, I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden and be good.

　　Yes, Mummy, the two boys answered, and they went out.

　　They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen. Mummy, he said, Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allen's house. Mrs. Allen was one of their neighbors.

　　He's a bad boy, his mother said. How did he break it?

　　I threw a stone at him, Billy answered, and he quickly moved down.

　　是他的錯(cuò)

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟，兩人經(jīng)常打架。

　　上個(gè)星期六，他們的媽媽對(duì)他們說(shuō)，我現(xiàn)在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。

　　是，媽媽，兩個(gè)男孩回答，然后他們就出去了。

　　他們?cè)诨▓@里玩了半個(gè)小時(shí)，然后比利跑進(jìn)了廚房。媽媽，他說(shuō)，波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。

　　他是個(gè)壞孩子，他的媽媽說(shuō)，他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?

　　我朝他扔了一塊石子，比利回答道，他趕緊蹲下。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　He Won

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　他贏了

　　湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎?

　　約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。

　　湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒?

　　約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰(shuí)能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：

　　He's just Been to the Zoo

　　When I was waitting in line at the bank , I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of thewindows. The boy was eating a roll ,which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.

　　"No, no, dear," said the boy's mom. and then , turnning to the teller , "I beg your pardon , young man. Please forgive my son . He's just been to the zoo."

　　他剛?cè)ミ^(guò)動(dòng)物園

　　當(dāng)我在銀行里排隊(duì)時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一位婦女抱著一個(gè)小孩站在一個(gè)窗口。男孩正在吃一個(gè)面包卷，并將面包卷戳向出納員，出納員笑著搖了搖頭。

　　“別這樣，親愛(ài)的，” 男孩的媽媽說(shuō)。然后她轉(zhuǎn)向出納員說(shuō)，“對(duì)不起，小伙子。請(qǐng)?jiān)徫业膬鹤樱麆側(cè)ミ^(guò)動(dòng)物園。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：Whats time to a pig?

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的蘋(píng)果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋(píng)果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說(shuō)，“時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：我和老師的故事

　　Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

　　老師：湯姆!約翰!你倆今天為什么遲到了!

　　Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

　　湯姆：老師，我一直在找我丟失的一美元硬幣。

　　Teachear: John, what about you?

　　老師：那么你呢，約翰?

　　John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

　　約翰：老師，我不能動(dòng)啊，我把他的硬幣藏腳底下了。