20個英語笑話爆笑超短的欣賞
一些幽默的英語笑話，能提高我們閱讀英語的興趣，從而提高英語的閱讀能力，今天學(xué)習(xí)啦小編在這里為大家分享20個英語笑話爆笑超短，希望大家喜歡這些英語笑話!
20個英語笑話爆笑超短篇一
1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”“不要相信夢，親愛的。據(jù)說夢中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實相反。”媽媽答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學(xué)生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。
3.Professor: When is your birthday?Kid: May 30.Professor: Which year?Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什么時候?孩子：5月30日。教授：哪一年?孩子：每年都是。
4.老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money.并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗。”
小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎?怎么不去?
小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」啊!
5.某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I am hongtao liu，外賓曰：我TM還是方片七呢!
20個英語笑話爆笑超短篇二
1.江青會見外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。外賓一見到江青，立刻拍馬屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻譯照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻譯不敢怠慢，把江青的話翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外賓一愣，還有這樣的人，追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."
翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮。”江青更高興了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見得，不見得”。翻譯趕緊翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."
2.話說某年某月的某一天，叁個神箭手約在一起比箭，目標(biāo)是十尺外仆人頭上的蘋果。A神箭手挽弓長射，咻一聲，利箭正中蘋果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中蘋果，這回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特!」
輪到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出! 結(jié)果正中仆人的心臟。就聽他結(jié)結(jié)巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
3.某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞， 忙說：I am sorry.
老外應(yīng)道：I am sorry too.
某人聽后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，問：What are you sorry for?
某人無奈，道：I am sorry five.
4.一位來自日本的旅客，坐出租車去機場的路上，看到一輛汽車經(jīng)過，就說：“oh，TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一輛經(jīng)過，他又說： “oh，NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司機有點不高興，覺得他太吵了!當(dāng)?shù)谌v經(jīng)過時，他還是說：“oh，HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
后來到了機場，那個日本人就問：“How Much?”出租車司機說：“1000!”
日本人驚奇的問司機：“為什么那么貴?”出租車司機回答說：“oh，mileometer(計 程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
5.英語老師問一個學(xué)生，“How are you是什么意思”
學(xué)生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”
老師生氣又問另一個同學(xué)：“How old are you ?是什么意思?”
這個同學(xué)想了想說：“怎么老是你。”
20個英語笑話爆笑超短篇三
1.某男，粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是sex。
該男思之久已，毅然下筆：“Once a week“。
簽證官觀后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“
該男頓時赧顏，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“
男急釋曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”
2.一位在美的留學(xué)生，想要考國際駕照。在考試時因為過于緊張，看到地上標(biāo)線是向左轉(zhuǎn)。
他不放心的問道:turn left?
監(jiān)考官回答：right.
于是他立刻向右轉(zhuǎn)。
很抱歉他只有下次再來。
3.傳說克林頓和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞錯了，把克林頓送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了
地獄。發(fā)現(xiàn)錯誤后上帝馬上改了回來，路上二人相遇。
教皇：感謝上帝，我終于能見到圣母瑪利亞了(Virgin Maria).
克林頓(壞笑中)：Sorry，it"s too late.
4.A：What’s on your hand?
B：Watch.
A：How to spell that?
B：T-H-A-T~
5.女：say“i love you”，say it，come on!say it!
男：it!
20個英語笑話爆笑超短篇四
1、The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little
girl.
魚網(wǎng)
你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安? 老師發(fā)問道。
把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。 小女孩回答道。
2、The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and
then she said that two and four were six too.....
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。
喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。
媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。
《律師、寶馬和胳膊》
3、一個律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。
“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit
the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the
lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer,
"You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your
left arm was ripped off!!!"
4、《狗住旅店》
一個人給一家他計劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單，
餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I
would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well
behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at
night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating
this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels,
bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog
in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a
dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And,
if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
5、Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說. “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的.”
20個英語笑話爆笑超短篇五
1.鳥窩與頭發(fā)
我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師.一次一個學(xué)生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩.
“是什么鳥呢?”我姐姐問她.
“我沒看到鳥兒,老師,只看到鳥窩.”那孩子回答說.
“那么,你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道.
“哦,老師,就像你的頭發(fā)一樣.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
2.Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭. 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式.
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親.
“是的,親愛的,”她回答說,“你問這個干什么?”
“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭.”
3.A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車.接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了.她的慣性使她接近了我的腳.我正準(zhǔn)備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來.她鎮(zhèn)定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
4.He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人.
-- 他真是一個大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
5.Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國直接帶來的
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元.在銀行柜臺,銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假.
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票.這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來的.”
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