英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)7篇爆笑笑死人的英語(yǔ)對(duì)話(huà)

　　學(xué)習(xí)啦網(wǎng)英語(yǔ)欄目為您精選語(yǔ)言地道的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà),讓你開(kāi)心學(xué)英語(yǔ)。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)一：幾月走的

　　When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

　　The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

　　杰克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點(diǎn)頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。于是便有好心的人教他說(shuō)，“下次鞠躬的時(shí)候，你就在心里數(shù)：正月、二月、……一直數(shù)到十二月為止，然后再直起身來(lái)。這樣，禮節(jié)就周全了。”

　　第二天，杰克見(jiàn)到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開(kāi)了。杰克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問(wèn)過(guò)路人：“我叔叔幾月走的?”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)二：The ability of the Kangaroo 袋鼠的能力

　　The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"

　　"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.

　　動(dòng)物園為剛引進(jìn)的袋鼠建了一個(gè)特殊的八英尺高的圍墻。但是第二天早上，人們發(fā)現(xiàn)這動(dòng)物在圍墻外面蹦跳著。于是圍墻高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來(lái)。動(dòng)物園經(jīng)理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍墻高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來(lái)。一個(gè)長(zhǎng)頸鹿問(wèn)袋鼠：“你認(rèn)為他們會(huì)把圍墻建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠說(shuō)，“如果他們繼續(xù)開(kāi)著大門(mén)，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)三：什么叫叛徒?

　　Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?” Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?” Father：“A convert，my son.”

　　有希望的青年人：“父親，什么叫政治叛徒?” 父親(一位老資格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開(kāi)我們黨而加入到另一個(gè)黨的人。” 有希望的青年人：“那么，離開(kāi)他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什么呢?” 父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)四：馬克·吐溫

　　On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.

　　有一次，馬克·吐溫從紐約起程抵達(dá)倫敦訪(fǎng)問(wèn)，《星報(bào)》認(rèn)為這個(gè)消息值得登在它的晚招貼上。但是，還有一條消息也要登上：關(guān)于愛(ài)斯科杯被盜的消息。招貼是這樣寫(xiě)的： 馬克·吐溫 光臨 愛(ài)斯科杯 被盜 我們相信，馬克·吐溫從來(lái)也沒(méi)聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)這件事。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)五：父親在哪?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。

　　“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)六：兩塊蛋糕

　　Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽?zhuān)铱梢猿詢(xún)蓧K蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽?zhuān)寒?dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)七：I do not recognize you

　　Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!

　　Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!

　　一天老虎在沙灘散步，見(jiàn)到一只螃蟹，就走過(guò)去想看個(gè)究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹(shù)叢里跑。老虎痛得跳起來(lái)了，緊接著就追螃蟹!

　　追到樹(shù)叢就不見(jiàn)螃蟹了，這時(shí)老虎看見(jiàn)一只守在大網(wǎng)中的蜘蛛，老虎對(duì)著蜘蛛發(fā)火了：好你個(gè)螃蟹!你以為你上了網(wǎng)我就不認(rèn)得你了!