英語笑話5篇爆笑總有你喜歡的

　　下面小編給大家整理的英語笑話 爆笑，希望大家會喜歡。

　　英語笑話一：怕老婆的丈夫

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.” “Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”

　　古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人并非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。然后，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。國王說：“看到我們國家里還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側。” “陛下，”那人尖聲地回答：“因為在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。”

　　英語笑話二：睡前禱告詞

　　Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

　　Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

　　And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

　　朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”

　　媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”

　　朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的。”

　　英語笑話三：小女孩的愿望

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　英語笑話四：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關系，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　英語笑話五：不是我的錯

　　It's not my fault

　　Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯

　　媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

　　女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。