關(guān)于英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)介紹
笑話(huà)作為一種城市化的民間口頭創(chuàng)作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。小編精心收集了短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇1
A Smart Witness
聰明的目擊人
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
有一名車(chē)禍目擊證人正在出庭作證。
The lawyer asked him,"Did you actually see the accident?"
律師問(wèn)他：“你確實(shí)看見(jiàn)了這起車(chē)禍嗎?”
The witness:"Yes,sir."
目擊證人說(shuō)：“是的， 長(zhǎng)官."
The lawyer :"How far away were you when the accident happened?"
律師說(shuō)：“當(dāng)車(chē)禍發(fā)生的時(shí)候，你在多遠(yuǎn)的地方?”
The witness:"Thirty-one feet,six and one quarter inches."
目擊證人說(shuō)：“三十一英尺，六又四分之一 英尺?！?/p>
The lawyer(thinking he'd trap the witness):"Well ,sir,will you please tell the jury how you knewit was exactly that distance?"
這名律師說(shuō)(心想他會(huì)讓這務(wù)目擊證人陷，入陰謀的勘計(jì)之中)：“那好吧，先生，請(qǐng)你告訴陪審團(tuán)，你怎么知道確實(shí)是那個(gè)距離昵?”
The witness:"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it.I knewsome annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
目擊證人說(shuō):“因?yàn)楫?dāng)車(chē)禍發(fā)生的時(shí)候，就拿出了卷盡測(cè)量過(guò)宦。我早知道會(huì)莉一個(gè)令人傷腦筋.律師問(wèn)。我那個(gè)蠢問(wèn)題 ?！?/p>
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇2
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊(duì)進(jìn)入天國(guó)之門(mén)。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "
那位猶太人對(duì)圣彼得說(shuō)：“坦白講，能到這里讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到__的輕視和侮辱?！?/p>
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我們實(shí)在感到非常遺憾，”圣彼得說(shuō)，“但我們這里沒(méi)有那樣的偏見(jiàn)，這里每個(gè)人都完全平等，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞你就能進(jìn)入天堂?！?/p>
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名猶太人正確地拼出God后，被招入門(mén)內(nèi)。接著印第安人走向前說(shuō)道“圣彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊，而且只能住在居留地內(nèi)，我在這里能得到真正的自由嗎?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞，你就能像小鳥(niǎo)一樣自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照著做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接著那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他說(shuō)道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對(duì)待我，在這里那些事不會(huì)發(fā)生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "
“當(dāng)然不會(huì)，我的弟兄，我們不會(huì)做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個(gè)詞，天堂之國(guó)就是你的了!”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇3
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一對(duì)黑人夫婦已有八個(gè)小孩，而魯拉·梅又懷了第九個(gè)小孩,最后她說(shuō)服了她先生去做男性絕育手術(shù)。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手術(shù)的早晨，她驚訝地看見(jiàn)她老公穿著禮服，乘坐一輛禮車(chē)到不遠(yuǎn)的醫(yī)院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"親愛(ài)的，這是怎么一回事啊?魯拉·梅問(wèn)道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"寶貝，如果你想當(dāng)名大人物的話(huà)，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!"
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