英語爆笑笑話6篇

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語爆笑笑話6篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語爆笑笑話一

　　"i had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."一個(gè)男人對他的朋友說：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”

　　"that's terrible!" said the friend. "got any pain?"

　　“真是太糟糕了!”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎?”

　　"no, but i am always thirsty!"

　　“不疼，可是我總感到口渴!”

　　英語爆笑笑話二

　　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　　丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個(gè)粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個(gè)比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦?”丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”

　　英語爆笑笑話三

　　One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

　　有個(gè)女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪...

　　Girl: Father, I have sinned.

　　女孩：神父，我有罪。

　　Preacher: What did you do, little girl?

　　神父：孩子，你犯了什么罪呢?

　　Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."

　　女孩：昨天，我罵了某個(gè)男人一句：“你這個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的。”

　　Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?

　　神父：為什么?他對你做了什么嗎?

　　Girl: He touched my breast.

　　女孩：他...他摸我的胸部。

　　Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)

　　神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父伸手摸女孩的胸部)

　　Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.

　　女孩：(因?yàn)樯窀傅呐e動(dòng)而有一些害羞)嗯...是的。

　　Preacher: That s no reason to call him that.

　　神父：只是這樣子的話你沒有理由罵他。

　　Girl: But he also took off my cloth.

　　女孩：但是...他又把我的衣服脫掉。

　　Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)

　　神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父動(dòng)手脫掉女孩的衣服)

　　Girl: Yes, that s what he did.

　　女孩：是的，是這樣子沒錯(cuò)。

　　Preacher: That s still no reason to call him that.

　　神父：可是這樣子你還是沒有理由罵他。

　　Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...

　　女孩：然後...他把他的...那個(gè)...放到我的...那個(gè)...里面...

　　Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)

　　神父：(奸笑貌)你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父和女孩就那個(gè)那個(gè)了)

　　Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that s what he did...

　　女孩：(數(shù)分鐘後)喔...是的...就是這樣子...Preacher: My dear girl, that s still no reason to call him a...

　　神父：我親愛的孩子，就算是這樣你還是沒有理由罵他「你這個(gè)...」

　　Girl: But he had AIDS!!女孩：但是他有AIDS呀!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!神父：那個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的!!!

　　英語爆笑笑話四

　　●Only One Eye to Settle On

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

　　姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前為什么不告訴我?” “怎么沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面后，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”

　　英語爆笑笑話五

　　●You May Select可以選擇

　　The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.

　　One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"

　　The wife said, "You may select the dish today."

　　The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"

　　"Cabbage."

　　"The others?"

　　"None."

　　"Then how to select?"

　　"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.

　　丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。

　　一天，丈夫回到家，問妻子：“親愛的，今天我們吃啥菜?”

　　妻子回答：“今天你可以選擇。” 丈夫感到非常高興，又問：“都有哪些菜呢?”

　　“炒白菜。”

　　“還有呢?”

　　“沒了。”

　　“那你要我怎么選呢?”

　　“吃還是不吃!”妻子一本正經(jīng)地說道。

　　英語爆笑笑話六

　　●Two roaches 兩只蟑螂

　　Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

　　兩只蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃著，其中的一只談起了它在一家新開張的餐館里的經(jīng)歷。“那時(shí)我在街對面的那家新餐館里，”它說。“那里太干凈了!廚房沒有一點(diǎn)污漬，地面閃著白光。任何地方都沒有垃圾。那里是如此干凈，整個(gè)地方都在發(fā)光。”“請不要在我吃東西的時(shí)候說這個(gè)好嗎?”另一只蟑螂不悅地說。