十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話
笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛(ài)的民間敘事類型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現(xiàn)實(shí)基礎(chǔ)。小編精心收集了十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇1
The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"
Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."
學(xué)監(jiān)(非常生氣)：“現(xiàn)在你承認(rèn)這可憐的新生被踢進(jìn)這蛙池里，渾身濕透?那么你在這不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”
二年級(jí)學(xué)生(恭順地)：“右腿，先生。”
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇2
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!
老師為了讓學(xué)生記住先思考后發(fā)言，告訴他們?cè)谡f(shuō)出重要事情之前先數(shù)到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數(shù)到100。 第二天，當(dāng)老師背靠著火爐講課時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)好幾個(gè)學(xué)生的嘴唇在很快地不停地動(dòng)。突然，全班學(xué)生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇3
I Could Do It Slower
我可以干得慢一些
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
病人：拔一顆牙收費(fèi)多少?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
牙醫(yī)：50美元。
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?
病人：只幾分鐘的活兒就要50美元?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.
牙醫(yī)：好的，如果你喜歡的話，我可以干得慢一些。
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇4
Lifetime Warranty
終身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.
在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來(lái)，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”我問(wèn)葬禮的承辦人。他回答說(shuō)，“這種棺材終生保修。
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇5
I Want Her to go Nuts
我要讓她發(fā)瘋
Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫(huà)肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫(huà)家說(shuō)：“畫(huà)我?guī)е@石耳環(huán)、鉆石項(xiàng)鏈、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”
But you're not wearing any of those things.
“但你現(xiàn)在沒(méi)帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”
I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.
“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說(shuō)，“萬(wàn)一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會(huì)立刻再婚。我要讓那個(gè)女人為尋找這些珠寶而發(fā)瘋
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇6
Friend for Dinner
請(qǐng)朋友吃飯
Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
“親愛(ài)的，”丈夫?qū)ζ拮诱f(shuō)：“我邀請(qǐng)了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!
“什么?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒(méi)有買過(guò)東西回來(lái)了，所有的碗碟都是臟的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”
I know all that.
“這些我全都知道。”
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
“那你為什么還要邀請(qǐng)朋友回來(lái)吃晚飯?”
Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.
“因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結(jié)婚呢。”
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇7
The Fourth Element
第四元素
Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
老師：自然界的四大元素是什么?
Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
學(xué)生：火、氣、和。。。和。。。
Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
老師：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的?
Student: Soap!
學(xué)生：肥皂。
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇8
Boxing and Running
拳擊和賽跑
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight."
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個(gè)粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box."
朋友：“如果他碰上的對(duì)手是一個(gè)比他高大，健壯而且也會(huì)拳擊的人怎么辦?”
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
丹：“我也會(huì)教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇9
Make your fortune
計(jì)劃你的將來(lái)
"How did you make your fortune?"
“你是怎么計(jì)劃你的將來(lái)的?”
"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."
“我變成一個(gè)富人的合伙人，他有錢，我有經(jīng)驗(yàn)。”
"How did that help?"
“那有什么用?”
"Now he has the experience and I the money."
現(xiàn)在他有經(jīng)驗(yàn)了，我有錢。”
十個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇10
The Looney Bin
瘋?cè)嗽?/p>
Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽?one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮粋€(gè)病人說(shuō)：“我是拿破侖!”另一個(gè)說(shuō)：“你怎么知道?”第一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“上帝對(duì)我說(shuō)的!”一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來(lái)：“我沒(méi)說(shuō)!”
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