笑話是指以一句短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)小故事讓說(shuō)話者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，另外一個(gè)行動(dòng)(動(dòng)作)型的笑話是以動(dòng)作影響人的視覺(jué)及觀感，而感到好笑。下面一起來(lái)看一下一些爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話吧，讓你爆笑每一天。

　　我沒(méi)有看到另外一塊

　　Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

　　媽媽?zhuān)杭s翰尼，我今天早上在櫥子里放了兩塊點(diǎn)心?，F(xiàn)在就剩下一塊了。你能解釋一下嗎?約翰尼：嗯，我想是因?yàn)槔锩嫣谖覜](méi)看到另外那塊。

　　魔鬼的妹夫

　　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

　　一位婦人發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫回家的時(shí)候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個(gè)毛病。一個(gè)萬(wàn)圣節(jié)夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹(shù)后，準(zhǔn)備在丈夫返家時(shí)攔截他的去路。

　　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　　當(dāng)丈夫走近時(shí)，她從樹(shù)后跳出來(lái)，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身后有長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。

　　"Who are you?" he asked.

　　“你是誰(shuí)?”丈夫問(wèn)到。

　　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　　“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

　　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　　“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說(shuō)，“我娶了你的姐妹!”

　　最丑的孩子?

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車(chē)，司機(jī)看到后說(shuō)：“額，那是我這輩子見(jiàn)過(guò)的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車(chē)廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說(shuō)：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說(shuō)：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”

　　A Man of Actions

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from 　　Oxford this very evening!”

　　一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里，一個(gè)年輕人情緒激動(dòng)地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個(gè)家伙不收回他今早　　對(duì)我說(shuō)的話，我今晚就離開(kāi)牛津。”

　　下面一片喧嘩。“真是個(gè)言出必行的人。”一個(gè)人艷羨地說(shuō)。另一個(gè)說(shuō)：“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他。”

　　突然，一個(gè)女孩問(wèn)道：“那家伙對(duì)你說(shuō)什么了，霍波?”

　　他彎下腰小聲說(shuō)：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說(shuō)要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　If I Am a Manager

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理”為題寫(xiě)一篇作文。

　　所有的學(xué)生都在動(dòng)筆寫(xiě)了，只有一個(gè)男生例外。老師走過(guò)去問(wèn)他為什么不寫(xiě)。

　　“我在等我的秘書(shū)”。那孩子答道。

　　Isn’t it wonderful?

　　"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

　　"I broke a mirror," he replied.

　　"But that means seven years of bad luck."

　　"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

　　這難道不好嗎?

　　“你高興什么?”一個(gè)女士問(wèn)一個(gè)98歲的老人。

　　“我打碎了一個(gè)鏡子。”他回答。

　　“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”

　　“我知道。”他高興地說(shuō)，“這難道不好嗎?”

　　sells the candy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.

　　"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。

　　“昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了?”

　　“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。

　　“你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)。

　　“再給你兩分錢(qián)?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”

　　“她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的。”

　　Older Goats in America美國(guó)老羊

　　A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"

　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

　　一群美國(guó)人乘長(zhǎng)途汽車(chē)在荷蘭旅游。他們?cè)谝粋€(gè)奶酪場(chǎng)停下來(lái)。一位年輕的導(dǎo)游帶他們參觀了奶酪制作的全過(guò)程，解釋說(shuō)用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對(duì)這些，她解釋說(shuō)，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問(wèn)道：“在美國(guó)你們?cè)鯓犹幚砝涎蚰?”

　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說(shuō)：“他們讓我們乘車(chē)旅行!”