最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話
最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創(chuàng)造性的語(yǔ)言形式,其主要功能是調(diào)侃、娛樂(lè)或諷刺。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation.
"All who want to go to heaven, please rise."
Everyone got up except the snorer.
After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,
"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start ， the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——
"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,
but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，
讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。
于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”
所有的人都站了起來(lái)——
當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。
在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)。
看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。
這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，
但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Ivan came home with a bloody nose
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。
and his mother asked, "What happened?"
他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事?”
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.“
一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎?”媽媽問(wèn)。
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan.
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。
"I have his ear in my pocket."
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
最簡(jiǎn)單搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,
小強(qiáng)尼說(shuō)：“媽媽，今天早上和爸爸在公車上時(shí)，
he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
他叫我讓座給一位女士。”
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
媽媽說(shuō)：“你做得很對(duì)呀。”
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
“但是，媽媽，我是坐在爸爸膝蓋上的。”
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