關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話短文
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關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話短文：寄給上帝的信
一個(gè)小男孩非常想要一百美元買(mǎi)一輛自行車(chē)，但是祈禱了兩個(gè)星期也沒(méi)有結(jié)果。于是，他決定給上帝寫(xiě)一封信要這一百美元。當(dāng)郵局收到這封收信人為“美國(guó)，上帝”的信后，他們決定把它寄給美國(guó)總統(tǒng)?？偨y(tǒng)很重視，也很感動(dòng)。他命令他的秘書(shū)寄給個(gè)小男孩五美元紙鈔?？偨y(tǒng)認(rèn)為這對(duì)于一個(gè)小男孩來(lái)說(shuō)應(yīng)該是一筆大錢(qián)了。這個(gè)小男孩收到這五美元后非常高興，又坐下來(lái)給上帝寫(xiě)了一封感謝信，信中寫(xiě)道:
A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
親愛(ài)的上帝:
Dear Lord，
非常感謝你寄給我的錢(qián)?？墒俏野l(fā)現(xiàn)，由于某種原因您通過(guò)華盛頓寄給我的錢(qián)，像往常一樣，那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.
羅杰
Love,Roger
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話短文：金色的酒吧
One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…
一天深夜，一個(gè)男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子問(wèn)他去哪了(她有些懷疑他的話)。
Wife: "Where were you?"
妻子:“你去哪了?”
Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”
丈夫:“我去了一個(gè)叫金色酒吧的新開(kāi)張的酒吧。里面的一切都是金的。”
Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”
妻子:“你真去了嗎? 根本沒(méi)有這種地方!”
Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”
丈夫:“有!那里有一扇大金門(mén)，金地板和金的便池!”
Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”
妻子:‘好，就算我惻言你!”
So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…
第二天，他的妻子在電話號(hào)碼簿里查金色酒吧的電話。使她吃驚的是金色酒吧就在他們住的小鎮(zhèn)的另一頭。她決定打電話過(guò)去證實(shí)一下她丈夫的話。
Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"
妻子:“這里是金色酒吧嗎?”
Bartender: "Yes it is.”
酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，金色酒吧。”
Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "
妻子:“你們那里是不是有一扇金色大門(mén)?”
Bartender: "Yes we do…”
酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，我們有......”
Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"
妻子:“你們的地板也是金色的?”
Bartender; "We have them, too…”
酒吧服務(wù)員:“是的，這也對(duì)……”
Wife: "What about golden urinals?"
妻子:“那有沒(méi)有金色便池?”
Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max，I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”
酒吧服務(wù)員在電話那頭問(wèn):“嘿，馬克斯，我認(rèn)為那天有人往你的高音薩克斯里小便的事有線索了。”
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話短文：講出故事的結(jié)尾
The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…”
一個(gè)女人離開(kāi)家兩天，到另一個(gè)城市去看望一個(gè)生病的朋友。當(dāng)她回來(lái)的時(shí)候，她的小兒子見(jiàn)到她就說(shuō):“媽媽?zhuān)悴略趺粗?昨天我在你臥室的衣柜里玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走進(jìn)了臥室，他們脫了衣服上了你的床……”
Sonny’s mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. " The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，"I' m leaving you. I' m packing now and I' m leaving you.”
媽媽抓住他的手說(shuō):“不要講了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我講的全部講給他聽(tīng)。”孩子的爸爸回來(lái)了。當(dāng)他走近房間的時(shí)候他的妻子說(shuō):“我要離開(kāi)你。我現(xiàn)在就收拾好行李，我要走了。”
"But why--"asked the startled father.
“但是，這是為什么?”他吃驚地問(wèn)。
"Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.”
“講給他聽(tīng)，兒子，把你告訴我的講給他聽(tīng)聽(tīng)。”
"Well,”Sonny said，"I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when Daddy was away last summer.”
“好吧，”那個(gè)小家伙說(shuō)，“我正在你臥室的衣柜里玩的時(shí)候，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨上樓來(lái)，然后他們脫了衣服上了床。然后，他們就像是去年夏天爸爸不在家時(shí)你和約翰叔叔一樣。”
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