長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞
冷笑話就是其實(shí)一點(diǎn)都不好笑的笑話，非常無聊的笑話，但是可以達(dá)到精神上放松的目的，因?yàn)檫@種笑話理解起來不動(dòng)腦筋。小編精心收集了長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：Changes In Hell
An engineer died and was mistakenly sent to hell. Fairly quickly, he had redesigned the place. Hell cooled down considerably thanks to the air conditioning he built and installed. The escalators and elevators worked just fine. Manual labor was quickly becoming a thing of the past.
God looked down one day and noticed all the changes. He called down to the devil to ask how these improvements came about.
The devil replied, "That engineer you sent me."
"What engineer? You're not supposed to have an engineer. Send him back up here!"
The devil's answer was simple... "No."
"If you don't send that engineer back right now, I'm going to be very angry. In fact, I'll sue you!"
The devil replies, "And . . . where are you going to get a lawyer?"
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：Even Pigs Have Standards
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I amhumble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening."
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood...
The pig and the cow.
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的英語(yǔ)笑話：Men Unite
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never Be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven!
Why do men pass gas more than women do? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
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