關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子精選
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子精選
話(huà)是一種頗受人們喜愛(ài)的民間敘事類(lèi)型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現(xiàn)實(shí)基礎(chǔ)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子：My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫馬上就要回來(lái)了
一個(gè)已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”
在女朋友再三請(qǐng)求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說(shuō)道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來(lái)了。”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子：Only cash and credit cards
When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for
a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and
number of people.
" Do you take children?" the man asked.
"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."
只算現(xiàn)金和信用卡
一個(gè)人打電話(huà)給一家汽車(chē)旅館詢(xún)問(wèn)房租，旅館的工作人員回答說(shuō) 房租的多少取決于房間的大小和住客的人數(shù)。
“小孩兒算不算呢?”那人問(wèn)道。
“不算，先生。”服務(wù)員回答，“我們只算現(xiàn)金和信用卡。”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子：A Smart Housewife.
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主婦
一位精明的家庭主婦聽(tīng)人說(shuō)有一種爐子用起來(lái)可以比她現(xiàn)在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽(tīng)了大為興奮，說(shuō)：“那太好了!一個(gè)爐子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我買(mǎi)兩個(gè)爐子的話(huà)，不就可以把煤全都省下來(lái)了嗎?”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子：約會(huì)
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會(huì)
在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個(gè)咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因?yàn)檫@位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對(duì)湯姆招手并示意湯姆過(guò)去。于是湯姆走了過(guò)去。她問(wèn)道，“您現(xiàn)在是單身嗎?” “對(duì)，是單身，”湯姆滿(mǎn)臉堆笑的說(shuō)。 “我母親也是，”她說(shuō)，“您愿不愿意見(jiàn)見(jiàn)她?”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)稿子：瞌睡者
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
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