有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話閱讀
隨著教育的發(fā)展，其閱讀的重要性被教育者們關(guān)注，兒童的閱讀也受到越來越多的重視。本文是有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話：Reality and Imagination
Small boy came home after the school and immediately he goes to his father.
Because the teacher was explaining in the class something about Reality and Imagination but to him it was not clear, he asks his father "can you tell me which the difference between Reality and Imagination is?" trying to be as objective as he can he reply to his sun: "go boy to your mom and your sis and tell them that a very handsome young boy asked you about them, that they are beautiful,like, he would love to share some moments alone with them but tell this to each personally and after they reply cam and tell me what they said". Boy goes at first and after that he has don what his father asked from him, he cams back and tell to father that "mother, when she heard me what I told her, her eyes start shining and asked me about the boys name and where he lives and is he really so cool etc." also the sister did the same, maybe she was more interested in details than mother. Than father told to the sun:
Boy, Imagination in this case is that I always thought that I have a faithful wife and a very educated daughter and Reality is that we have two sluts living in same house with us .
有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話：Nice Words!
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister's room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend"Your such an ass!" and she hung up.Suzie asked what ass had meant and her sister sayin"Uh... it means... uhh.. boyfriend!". Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word.
Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled "SHIT!" Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered"It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream."
Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie's dad's boss was coming to dinner tonight.
When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled"FUCK!". Suzie asked what fuck meant and mom replied" it..it..it uummm...it means cut... yeah, cut." Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it.
When Suzie opened the door, her dad's boss was standing there. Boss asked" Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is?" Then Suzie said" Well, my sister's upstairs talking to her ass on the phone, my dad's in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話：Boondock Baby
A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.
"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"
有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話：I want to be six
To Whom It May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money 'cause you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym, and field trips. I want to be happy because I don't know what should make me upset. I want to think the world is fair, and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality. I want to be six again. I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever because I don't know the concept of death.
I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life, and be overly excited by the little things again. I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something I use for escape from the things I should be doing. I want to live knowing the little things I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.....I want to be six again.
I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me. I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else. I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet, and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.
I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist, and how to find the money to fix the old car. I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up, and what I'll be, who I'll be, and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want that time back.
I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fight with my significant other, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back, and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together, and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.
I want to be six again.
有關(guān)兒童節(jié)英語笑話：Too much TV?????
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,
"Bud."
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