七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文閱讀
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文閱讀
笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創(chuàng)作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文，希望可以幫助大家!
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Tarzan
Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick. Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs -- the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick. A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.
"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."
"Why's that?"
"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass."
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Only In New York
A New York City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stops beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop says, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl says, "he sure did!"
The cop looks the bike over and hands the little girl a ticket for a safety violation.
"Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of the bike." the cop explains.
The young girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you got there officer, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he did," chuckled the cop.
"You need to tell Santa that the ass belongs underneath the tail, and not on top of the horse".
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文： No More Chicken...
A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.
"Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches."
"Why?" he asked.
"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.
"I don't believe you," he said. "You'll have to show me."
Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.
"You're right," he said. "I've been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting feathers too."
"Well, I'd better have a look," she said.
After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck and giblets too."
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .
"HEBREWS"
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Grave Dancing
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge. I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line."
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