關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯閱讀
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔?。本文是關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯：閑人遐思
He who sleeps catches no fish，—but he who keeps awake catches crabs every moment of his life.
All professions can yield a man enough to live on，—except professions of faith.
When attending the performance of some modern operas，it has struck me that the conductor was only beating time because he could not beat the composer.
If in the sight of the law all men are equal， Heaven save us from getting into its sight.
When you want to get rid of a dog， you take off his collar;—when the king wants to get rid of a minister， he give shim the collar—of the Order of the Annunziata.
The place where they ruin people's voices， and throw aside all the canons of art，is called the Conservatoire;and a hospital full of sick peopk is called a“house of health”(Casadi Salute).
Among the many motives which induce me to stay away from the theatre is the utter absence of all motive in modernoperas.
How many old phrases are required to make a new electoral programme!
All musical notes may express cheerful ideas; it is only thenotes of creditors which arouse none but melancholy reflections.
I entered the shop of a pork butcher at the moment when his son， aged eight， was returning from school. The poor boy was weeping bitterly.
“The old story!”exclaimed his parent ;“I suppose you did not learn your lessons， and the master called you an ass， as you deserved!”
“Yes!” replied the child， sobbing，“he did call me an ass，—and then—”
“Well，—and then —what else?”
“He said，‘well， after all， it is no wonder—like father，like son!’”
“Did he，indeed?the animal!”exclaimed the porkbutcher.“And to think that perhaps he has not yet eaten the whole of those two sausages I sent him at Christmas!”
閑人遐思
“眠者不得魚”——但醒者一生時(shí)時(shí)刻刻捕到的卻是螃蟹。
各種職業(yè)都可賴以為生——除了信仰的宣言。
觀看某些現(xiàn)代歌劇演出時(shí)，我忽然悟到，指揮之所以僅僅只是打拍子，是因?yàn)樗虿恢髑摺?/p>
上天保佑我們別進(jìn)入法律的視界，即使在法律看來人人平等。
你不想要某條狗了，就取下它的領(lǐng)圈——當(dāng)國(guó)王想擺脫某大臣，就給他戴上領(lǐng)飾——圣母瑪麗亞榮譽(yù)騎士團(tuán)的領(lǐng)飾①。
毀壞人們的噪音并拋棄一切藝術(shù)法規(guī)的地方叫作音樂學(xué)校(Conservatoire);住滿病人的醫(yī)院則被稱為“健康之屋”(Casa di Salute)。
種種動(dòng)機(jī)促使我躲開劇院，其中之一就是因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)代歌劇完全沒有主題②。
得用多少老詞兒，才能編一套新的選舉綱領(lǐng)!
所有的音符都能表達(dá)歡樂的思想;唯獨(dú)債權(quán)人的信函③喚起的全是憂愁的念頭。
我走進(jìn)殺豬屠夫的鋪?zhàn)?，他八歲的兒子正好放學(xué)回家。
那可憐的孩子哭得好傷心。
“準(zhǔn)又是老事重演!”他父親吼道，“我想一定是你沒記住功課，老師罵你是蠢驢來著，你也就配挨罵!”
“不錯(cuò)，”孩子回答，一邊抽泣著，“他確實(shí)叫我蠢驢來著，—然后—”
“然后——還有什么?”
“他說，‘說來倒也不奇怪——有其父必有其子。’”
“他真這么說了?那個(gè)畜生!”殺豬的大喊，“而且想想看，我過圣誕送他的整整兩大根肉腸只怕還并沒吃完呢!”
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯：有益的教訓(xùn)
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenthbirthday， Mr.Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.They drank for half an hour， and then Mr.Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you auseful lesson.You must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well， I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home.”
“But，Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”
在英國(guó)，十八歲以下的人不準(zhǔn)進(jìn)酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個(gè)酒吧喝酒，但他從來不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因?yàn)樗昙o(jì)太小。后來，當(dāng)湯姆年滿十八歲的時(shí)候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個(gè)小時(shí)，而后，湯普森先生對(duì)他兒子說：“湯姆，現(xiàn)在我要告訴你一個(gè)有益的教訓(xùn)。你必須時(shí)時(shí)小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝夠了呢?好，我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎?當(dāng)那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時(shí)候，你就喝夠了，應(yīng)該回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”湯姆說：“在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。”
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯：和母親一樣的女孩
No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice.
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her.
So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl.He told his friendlyadviser：
“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother.And just as you said，mother liked her”
“So，”asked the friend，“what happened?”
“Nothing，”said the young man.“My father hates her!”
和母親一樣的女孩
無論帶哪一個(gè)女孩回家，這位青年人總會(huì)遭到母親的反對(duì)。一位朋友勸他說：
“找一個(gè)和你母親一樣的女孩——那她一定會(huì)喜歡她。”
于是這位青年人不停地找啊找，終于找到了這么個(gè)女孩。
正像你說的那樣，我找到一個(gè)長(zhǎng)相、談吐、穿著打扮，甚至連烹飪都和我母親一樣的女孩。也正像你說的那樣，我母親喜歡她。”
“那后來呢?”朋友問。
“沒什么，”青年人說。“我父親討厭她!”
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