超級好笑的英語笑話精選
超級好笑的英語笑話精選
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說過,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。小編精心收集了超級好笑的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
超級好笑的英語笑話篇1
孩子的觀點
A boy was wondering about a photograph in a newspaper. It showed a group of happy and cheering children carrying schoolbags with the caption at the bottom: "On Their Way To School''.
"It must be mistaken, I bet. They must be on their way home after school. I'm sure of this." the boy concluded.
一個小男孩正在看報紙上的一張照片。照片中是一幫孩子背著書包，高高興興地走在路上。照片下面一排小字寫著：“上學路上”。
小男孩總結說：“我打賭，一定是搞錯了。他們肯定是在放學的路上，我肯定。”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇2
I hung him up to dry
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天，他們沿著醫(yī)院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區(qū)，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來。
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
當院長聽聞了Mary的英勇行為后，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進了自己的辦公室.
"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained2 your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
“Mary，我有一個好消息和一個壞消息要告訴你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說明你的意識已經(jīng)恢復了，你可以出院了。壞消息就是，Jim，你救的那個病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Mary說：“他沒有自殺，是我把他吊起來好讓他晾干。”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇3
What time is it now?
The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud."
兩個男孩子在后院露營，他們不知道到了晚上幾點鐘。于是，一個男孩對另外一個說：“我們開始大聲唱歌就行了。”
"How will that help?" said the second boy.
“那就會知道時間嗎?”第二個男孩問。
"Just do it," insisted the first.
“只管唱吧。”第一個堅持道。
Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, "Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"
兩個孩子開始大聲唱歌，過了一會兒，一個鄰居打開窗戶喊道：“小聲點!你們不知道現(xiàn)在是凌晨三點嗎?”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇4
哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊?
How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我們的餐廳經(jīng)理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高?；蛘撸覒撜f，他是有點矮!一天，經(jīng)理怒氣沖沖地撞門而入，高聲說，
“有人拿了我的錢包!”
我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：
“哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊”!
超級好笑的英語笑話篇5
吝嗇鬼請客
The notorious1 cheap skate finally decided2 to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
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