超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全
超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話是幽默的一個(gè)屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。小編精心收集了超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你
During World War Two, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
第二次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，英國(guó)的許多青年婦女在軍中服役。瓊·菲利普斯就是其中的一個(gè)。她在一個(gè)大軍營(yíng)里工作，自然結(jié)識(shí)了許多男人，既有軍官，又有士兵。
One evening she met Captain Humphrey at a dance. He said to her, "I' m going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
一天晚上，她在舞會(huì)上認(rèn)識(shí)了漢弗萊茲上尉。他對(duì)她說(shuō):“明天我將出國(guó)，如果我們能相互通信，我將非常高興。”瓊同意了。他們書信來(lái)往，數(shù)月不斷。
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
后來(lái)他的來(lái)信中斷了，但她收到另一位軍官的來(lái)信，信中告訴她漢弗萊茲受了傷，現(xiàn)住在英國(guó)某陸軍醫(yī)院里。
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit captain Humphrey.”
瓊找到那家醫(yī)院，對(duì)護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō):“我來(lái)探望漢弗萊茲上尉。”
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
“這里只允許親屬探望病人。”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)。
“Oh, that' s all right，”answered Joan." I'm his sister.”
“哦，那好吧，”瓊回答說(shuō):“我是他妹妹。”
"I’m very pleased to meet you ,”the matron said，"I' m his mother!”
“很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你，”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō):“我是他的母親。”
超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
向老外借錢發(fā)音不準(zhǔn)所鬧的笑話
上午10點(diǎn)，coffee break. 由于早上沒吃早飯，肚子有點(diǎn)餓。來(lái)到lunch room, 便想從 售貨機(jī)里買包 peanut butter cracker (0.5美元)充饑。掏出錢包一看，錢包里只有一個(gè)quarter (老婆真夠可以的)，心想，這下慘了, 又不能刷卡。
看到同一辦公室的老美同事Stephen (65歲左右)正坐在那里喝咖啡，于是便沖他喊道 ：“Stephen, do you have a dollar?”
Stephen: I have three.
Me: One is enough.
Stephen: Too late.
Me : ??? (Too late? 他花了?還是他不愿意借?老美真夠小氣的，一塊錢都不愿意借)。
沒辦法，只好又到另一個(gè)辦公室找一中國(guó)人借了一塊錢。
回到售貨機(jī)旁，剛想把錢塞進(jìn)去，Stephen 走了過(guò)來(lái)：“Oh, I thought you were asking for my daughter”.
超級(jí)爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
蘇格蘭人和售票員
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
一個(gè)蘇格蘭人拎著一個(gè)很大的箱子，在開往倫敦的公交車上，這輛車已經(jīng)行駛了五英里了。他時(shí)刻都想著避開售票員逃票。
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles一that’ll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase.”
后來(lái)售票員還是發(fā)現(xiàn)了他，叫他補(bǔ)票。“你已經(jīng)坐了五英里了，5O便士，你的箱子還要交10便士。”
The Scotsman responds: "I haven’t, I want to have a penny fare，just got on this very moment.” They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
那個(gè)蘇格蘭人答道:“我沒有，我剛剛才上來(lái)，我想只掏一便士的車錢。”于是他們開始吵了起來(lái)，售票員越聽越生氣。最后當(dāng)車子行駛到倫敦大橋時(shí)他抓起蘇格蘭人的那個(gè)大箱子順著車窗扔了出去。
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket一but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny.”
箱子掉進(jìn)了河里沉了下去。那個(gè)蘇格蘭人在那里怔了片刻，然后對(duì)售票員說(shuō):“你不但想超收我的車錢，還淹死了我的兒子強(qiáng)尼。”
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