關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話大全
關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話作為一種特殊的交際策略，它能夠幫助人們緩解尷尬的氣氛，從而保持和諧的人際關(guān)系。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.
我做事情花了長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，是效率低; 老板做事情花了長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，是深思熟慮。 我沒(méi)有做完事情，是懶惰; 老板沒(méi)有做完事情，是太繁忙。 沒(méi)有人告訴我的事情我做了，是自作聰明; 老板做了同樣的事情，是首創(chuàng)。 我取悅老板，是獻(xiàn)媚; 老板取悅他的老板，是合作。 我干得好，老板從來(lái)不會(huì)想起; 我干得不好，老板從來(lái)不會(huì)忘記。
關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
An Exceptional Phenomenon(罕見(jiàn))
4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，爭(zhēng)搶) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(堅(jiān)持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.”
四歲的貝京和小妹妹爭(zhēng)玩具。媽媽對(duì)他說(shuō)：“你大，你是哥哥，要讓著小妹妹點(diǎn)兒。” 貝京想了想，堅(jiān)持說(shuō)：“等妹妹長(zhǎng)得比我大了，她也得讓著我。”姨夫在一旁聽(tīng)了說(shuō)：“這種情況相當(dāng)罕見(jiàn)。
關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Three Turtles 三只烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門(mén)口，就下起雨來(lái)。于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“回家去取傘吧。”
最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。
兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門(mén)外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it?” “Why，Seth Smith， who is too lazy to get anything to liveon， so we are going to bury him alive.” “I'll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head， Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor?” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head， he said：“ Drive on， boys，drive on.”
塞思·史密斯被公認(rèn)為鎮(zhèn)上頭號(hào)懶人。長(zhǎng)官們實(shí)在懶得再供養(yǎng)他，便決定把他送進(jìn)一個(gè)天然墳?zāi)估锶?。于是他被?zhǔn)備著去埋葬，靈車(chē)是一輛搖搖晃晃的鄉(xiāng)下舊馬車(chē)。正當(dāng)這列奇怪的送葬隊(duì)伍在行進(jìn)時(shí)，一些老街坊問(wèn)道：“這是誰(shuí)啊?”“唉，塞思·史密斯，他懶得沒(méi)法活了，我們這就去把他活埋。”“我來(lái)給他一蒲式耳谷子吧，”一個(gè)人說(shuō)。“我也給，”另一個(gè)說(shuō)。 塞思慢慢抬起頭來(lái)問(wèn)道：“谷子脫粒了嗎，街坊?” “沒(méi)有，你得自己來(lái)。”他緩緩把頭放回原處說(shuō)：“接著走吧，孩子們，接著走吧。”
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