小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話
幽默與笑話同是社會(huì)交往活動(dòng)中不可缺少的交際手段,探索幽默與笑話的區(qū)別,認(rèn)為有意與無(wú)意、含蓄與直白、復(fù)雜與簡(jiǎn)單、創(chuàng)新與故舊是區(qū)分幽默與笑話的重要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
顧全面子
Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”
從前有個(gè)讀書人家里很窮，卻很愛(ài)面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家來(lái)行竊，卻沒(méi)有東西值得一偷，就說(shuō):“晦氣，我算碰到真正的窮鬼了!”讀書人聽(tīng)見(jiàn)了，就從床頭摸出僅有的幾文錢，追上去攔住小偷，輕輕地說(shuō):“你來(lái)得真不巧。請(qǐng)將就些把這些錢拿去。不過(guò)在人家面前，你可千萬(wàn)不要隨便說(shuō)，給我留點(diǎn)面子啊。”
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
葬禮何時(shí)舉行?
一天課后，我兒子有一個(gè)重要的約會(huì)，那時(shí)他在勞倫斯的堪薩斯大學(xué)任助教。他穿上白襯衣，戴上領(lǐng)帶，套上正統(tǒng)的深色西裝。正要離開(kāi)房間的時(shí)候，他發(fā)現(xiàn)鼠夾上夾了一只老鼠。他小心謹(jǐn)慎地拿著鼠夾，向垃圾堆走去。有位教授碰巧路過(guò)，看到此番情景，問(wèn)道:“葬禮何時(shí)舉行?”
My son,a teaching assistant at the University of Kansas in Lawrence，had an important appointment after class one day. He put on a white shirt，a tie and a conservative dark suit. As he was leaving his apartment，he noticed his mouse trap had a victim.Holding the trap carefully out in front of him，he walked to the dump. A professor happened by，took in the situation and asked，"What time is the funeral?”
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野里徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心里想著他的老婆對(duì)他有多么好，他多么幸運(yùn)擁有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他問(wèn)上帝：“你為什么要把她造得這么心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主響應(yīng)說(shuō)：“我兒 呀，這樣你就會(huì)愛(ài)她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你為什么要把她造得這么貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會(huì)愛(ài)她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你為什么要把她造成一個(gè)很會(huì)做飯菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會(huì)愛(ài)她呀。”
The man thought about this.
這名男子想了一下這件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her sostupid? "
然后他說(shuō):“我并不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什么的,可是，你為什么把她造得這么笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我兒呀，這樣她就會(huì)愛(ài)你呀。”
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的時(shí)候聽(tīng)到一個(gè)聲音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要?jiǎng)映蚩诠阍僮咭徊?，就?huì)有一個(gè)磚塊掉到你的頭上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
這名男子停住了，一個(gè)大磚塊就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
這名男子非常驚訝。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他繼續(xù)向前走：不久后，他要穿越馬路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那個(gè)聲音再次叫說(shuō)：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要?jiǎng)?，如果你再走一步，就?huì)有一輛汽車輾過(guò)你，你就會(huì)死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
這名男子因?yàn)樵恢甘具^(guò)，所以就照著做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此時(shí)正好有一輛汽車左搖右晃地沖過(guò)轉(zhuǎn)角處，差一點(diǎn)撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
這名男子問(wèn)說(shuō)：“你在哪里?你是誰(shuí)?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
這個(gè)聲音回答說(shuō)：“我是你的守護(hù)天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
這名男子問(wèn)說(shuō)：“喔，是嗎?那我結(jié)婚的時(shí)候：你死到哪里去了?”
小學(xué)的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話篇五
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海倫躺在她臨終的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握著她冰冷的手，淚水靜靜地從他的臉上流下來(lái)。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她蒼白的嘴唇顫動(dòng)著。她說(shuō)：“杰克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打斷說(shuō)：“噓，不要說(shuō)話。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她堅(jiān)持要說(shuō)。她以疲憊的聲音說(shuō)：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“杰克，我一定要說(shuō)。我必須向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
滿臉淚水的杰克說(shuō)：“沒(méi)什么好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
沒(méi)關(guān)系。一切都沒(méi)事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必須死得安心。我一定要坦白我對(duì)你不忠;紅杏出墻。”
Jack stroked her hand .
杰克撫摸著她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣著說(shuō)：“海倫 ，現(xiàn)在你不要擔(dān)心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我為什幺要毒死你呀?"
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