搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會(huì)話過程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子，歡迎閱讀!
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子篇一
Airport (飛機(jī)場(chǎng))
A stewardess (空中小姐) wore a sparkling gold necklace , a plane model as a drop, looking unique and professional. Detecting that somebody around was looking at her, she asked gracefully: “Is it pretty?” “Very pretty, but the airport looks more fascinating(迷人的).” The other party wisecracked(說俏皮話).
有位空姐帶著亮燦燦的金項(xiàng)鏈，項(xiàng)墜兒系一小飛機(jī)，顯得別致而有職業(yè)特點(diǎn)。她發(fā)現(xiàn)有人在看，便大方地問了一句：“它漂亮嗎?”“漂亮極了，不過，飛機(jī)場(chǎng)更漂亮!”對(duì)方俏皮地說。
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子篇二
One Side of the Case一面之辭
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官問我們這群修補(bǔ)陪審員是否有人應(yīng)當(dāng)免權(quán)。一個(gè)人舉起了手。
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。
"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."
“你將被允許加入陪審團(tuán)，”法官宣布。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子篇三
A Smugglar
走私犯
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
一個(gè)形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時(shí)，驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)了六個(gè)接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
"What's in here?" he asked.
“里面裝的是什么?”他問道。
"Dirt," the driver replied.
“土。”司機(jī)回答。
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實(shí)，口袋里除了土以外，別無(wú)他特。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過了。
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
一周后，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
“這次袋子里裝的是什么?”他問道。
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
“土，又運(yùn)了一些土。”那人回答。
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
哨兵不相信，對(duì)那些袋子又進(jìn)行了檢查，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，除了土以外，仍舊一無(wú)所獲。
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.
同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續(xù)了六個(gè)月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當(dāng)了酒吧侍者。
Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
有天夜里，那個(gè)形跡可疑的人碰巧途經(jīng)酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對(duì)他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個(gè)忙，今晚的酒就歸我請(qǐng)客。你能不能告訴我，那段時(shí)間你到底在走私什么東西?”
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。”
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子篇四
Early Shopper
采購(gòu)過早
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早?”
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。
搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話段子篇五
Difference
區(qū) 別
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區(qū)別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學(xué)給我們研究生上工程學(xué)課的老師如此說。“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”
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