關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話
冷笑話是近幾年才出現(xiàn)的新興語言現(xiàn)象，它以網(wǎng)絡(luò)為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現(xiàn)形式，主要流傳于網(wǎng)頁(yè)，微博，貼吧等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話篇一
Psychological Test 心理學(xué)測(cè)試
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
一位剛剛做完一場(chǎng)有關(guān)心理健康講座的心理學(xué)指導(dǎo)老師，正在進(jìn)行一個(gè)口頭測(cè)試。
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
測(cè)試主題定為躁狂抑郁癥，她問道：“你將怎樣診斷這樣的一個(gè)病人，他先是來回走著并大聲叫喊了一分鐘，然后坐在一張椅子上失控般地哭泣。”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
一個(gè)坐在后面的年輕人舉手答道：“他是一個(gè)籃球教練?”
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話篇二
Heard on a public bus 公交車上的聲明
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.奧蘭多公車上的聲明。
"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."“當(dāng)您下車的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)務(wù)必低頭并小心腳下。”
"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you." “如果您踩空了并撞到您的頭了的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)您降低音量并注意您的用語。謝謝。”
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話篇三
Caught stealing 當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲小偷
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
一個(gè)小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時(shí)候被當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲。“聽著，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒發(fā)生，你看怎樣?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)。你們還有沒有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話篇四
Sharing everything 分享所有
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
一個(gè)年輕人在麥當(dāng)勞里看見一對(duì)年邁的夫婦在吃午餐。他發(fā)現(xiàn)那對(duì)夫婦只點(diǎn)了單人餐，還要了一個(gè)空杯子。年輕人看見丈夫認(rèn)真地把漢堡分成兩半，把薯?xiàng)l一根一根數(shù)出來同樣放成兩堆，一份給自己，一份放在妻子面前。之后丈夫把飲料一半倒到空杯子里，同樣放到妻子面前。這時(shí)丈夫開始吃了，而妻子卻把手?jǐn)傇谙ドw上，在一旁看著。
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.
年輕人決定上前請(qǐng)那對(duì)夫婦允許他為他們?cè)儋I一份單人餐，這樣他們就不用分一份了。
The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."
丈夫說道：“哦，不用了。我們已經(jīng)結(jié)婚50年了，所有的東西我們都會(huì)一起分享，對(duì)半兒分。”
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."
然后年輕人問妻子她為什么不吃，她說：“這回他先用假牙。”
關(guān)于用英語講一個(gè)笑話篇五
Hard of hearing 身患重聽
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.
有三個(gè)退休的老人，都患有重聽。三月里風(fēng)和日麗的一天，他們?cè)谝黄鹕⒉健?/p>
One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"
其中一個(gè)人對(duì)另一個(gè)人說：“這天兒風(fēng)有點(diǎn)兒大，是吧?”
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."
“不是，”第二個(gè)人回答道，“今天是星期四。”
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
第三個(gè)人插話進(jìn)來說：“我也是，去買瓶可樂吧。”
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