簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話
幽默和笑話有概念上的區(qū)別,笑話是滑稽言談本身,幽默在這里則被作為心智和性情層面上的概念來(lái)看待。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Problem with gas 放屁的問(wèn)題
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted(放屁) at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses(鼻竇) , let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看醫(yī)生：“醫(yī)生，我有愛(ài)放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問(wèn)題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒(méi)聲音。事實(shí)上，我在這里已經(jīng)放了20多個(gè)屁，但是你并不知道對(duì)吧，因?yàn)槲业钠ú怀?，而且還沒(méi)聲音。”
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“好的，我明白了。吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續(xù)吃七天，下星期你再來(lái)。”
一星期后老太太來(lái)了，“醫(yī)生，你到底給的我什么藥，現(xiàn)在我放屁還是沒(méi)聲音，但是怎么這么臭!”
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“太好了!你的嗅覺(jué)正常了，現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始治聽(tīng)覺(jué)。”
簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Wait for your salary 你等著發(fā)工資吧
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...
wait for your salary.
如果你感到孤獨(dú)，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要擁抱，我做你的枕頭。
如果你想要快樂(lè)，我做你的微笑。如果你想要錢……
等著發(fā)工資吧!
簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Good Points and Bad Points 優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
“這幢房子，”房地產(chǎn)推銷商說(shuō)，“既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)也有缺點(diǎn)。為了說(shuō)明我是誠(chéng)實(shí)的，我將告訴你們它的缺點(diǎn)：往南面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家化工廠，往北面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家屠宰場(chǎng)。”
“那么它的長(zhǎng)處呢?”預(yù)備購(gòu)買房子的人問(wèn)道。
“它的好處，”代理商說(shuō)道，“就是，你總能分清風(fēng)是從哪邊吹過(guò)來(lái)的。”
簡(jiǎn)短的超爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
The Great Lion Hunter 偉大的獵手
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披蓋) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝結(jié))shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
有個(gè)小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長(zhǎng)派人去請(qǐng)偉大的獵手Jonesie來(lái)殺死這只野獸。
獵手躺著等了幾個(gè)晚上，但獅子一直沒(méi)有出現(xiàn)。最后，他要求村長(zhǎng)殺只牛然后把頭皮給他。把牛皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。
半夜，村民被從草原傳來(lái)的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒(méi)有獅子出沒(méi)的蛛絲馬跡。
Jonesie，怎么了?獅子在哪?村長(zhǎng)問(wèn)。
哪有獅子!獵人怒吼道，哪個(gè)傻瓜把公牛放出來(lái)了?
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