讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話
讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話大概可以分為兩類,好笑的和不好笑的。講笑話的人也可以分為兩類,逗別人笑的和自己先笑的。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
and stuff the cuffs in your boots 把褲腳塞到你的靴子里面去
the untried general faced battle the next day , and was more than a little frightened. seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that wellington had always dressed in red for battle, so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
一位未曾有過(guò)作戰(zhàn)經(jīng)驗(yàn)的將軍非常惶恐，因?yàn)榈诙鞂⒂袀€(gè)戰(zhàn)役要面對(duì)。為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來(lái)偉大將領(lǐng)的檔案，發(fā)現(xiàn)威靈頓將軍每次戰(zhàn)斗中都身穿紅色衣服，萬(wàn)一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)。
instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他傳了副官進(jìn)來(lái)并指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。
讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Keep Your Head! 頭腦要保持冷靜!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.
有一個(gè)年輕人在一家雜貨店的農(nóng)產(chǎn)部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜
“Sir, we don’t sell half heads of anything.”
“先生，我們東西都沒(méi)有賣半顆的。”
“Well, I insist; I only want half a head.”
“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”
“I’ll ask the manager.”
“我 要問(wèn)問(wèn)經(jīng)理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager’s office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager, “Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage.”
那名年輕人走到經(jīng)理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對(duì)經(jīng)理說(shuō)道“：經(jīng)理，有個(gè)渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”
Turing and noticing the customer, he quickly added, “And this gentleman wants the other half.”
他轉(zhuǎn)身發(fā)現(xiàn)那名顧客，立刻又補(bǔ)充說(shuō)：“而這位先生要買另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said, “That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I’ll keep you in mind.”
稍后，經(jīng)理把他拉到一旁說(shuō)道“：年輕人，你反應(yīng)真快。我們需要像你這么聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會(huì)記得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager’s spot had become vacant in the company’s store in Edmonton.
幾個(gè)星期之后，經(jīng)理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個(gè)襄理的職位空缺。
“Edmonton!” blurted out the young man. “Why, there’s nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey players!”
“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來(lái)“，那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”
“Yong man, my wife happens to come from Edmonton!”
“年輕人，我太太剛好來(lái)自艾得蒙敦!”
“No kidding, sir; what position does she play?”
“真的嗎?經(jīng)理，那她是打哪一個(gè)位置呢?”
讓人笑到受不了的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Home, Sweet Home 還是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫(yī)生剛從非洲狩獵回來(lái)。
“How did it go?” asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問(wèn)道。
“Oh, it was very disappointing,” replied the surgeon. “I didn’t kill a thing. In fact, I’d have been better off staying here in the hospital.”
“喔，實(shí)在太令人失望了，”外科醫(yī)生答道“。我什么也沒(méi)獵殺到，實(shí)際上，還是待在醫(yī)院里比較有成就感。”
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