令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
笑話(huà) 作為一種特殊的語(yǔ)體有其自身的特點(diǎn)。對(duì)于笑話(huà)為什么引人發(fā)笑,可以從心理學(xué)的角度去分析,也可以從修辭學(xué)、邏輯學(xué)的角度去認(rèn)識(shí)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，歡迎閱讀!
令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇一
Trouble with Propositions 介詞問(wèn)題
A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.
一位哈佛大學(xué)新生正在熟悉校園環(huán)境。
“Excuse me,” he asked an upperclassman, “can you tell me where the library’ s at?”
“對(duì)不起，”他問(wèn)一位高年級(jí)學(xué)長(zhǎng)“，您能告訴我圖書(shū)館在哪里嗎?”
“What appalling diction,” sneered the older student. “I can’t imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard. Don’t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition.”
“好可怕的用字喔!”那名學(xué)長(zhǎng)嘲弄他道“。不知道你老弟是怎么獲準(zhǔn)進(jìn)入哈佛的。難道你不知道介詞不要放在一個(gè)句子后面嗎?”
“O. K. Can you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”
“好吧!你能告訴我圖書(shū)館在哪里嗎，驢蛋?”
令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇二
an uncommon cold 一次特別的傷風(fēng)感冒
on a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear door of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.
一個(gè)陰雨、悲慘的日子，有列送葬隊(duì)伍正沿著陡峭的山路向墓地前進(jìn)，這時(shí)突然間靈車(chē)的后門(mén)破開(kāi)，棺材滑出車(chē)外。
to the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. at tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. it crashed into the counter and the lid flew open.
令哀悼者大感驚恐的是，棺材滑下山坡，沖散了汽車(chē)和行人，接著它以高速?zèng)_上人行道并滾進(jìn)一家藥房，最后棺材撞到了柜臺(tái)里面，蓋子則崩開(kāi)了。
“for heaven’s sake,” said the corpse to the astonished pharmacist, “give me something to stop this coffin.”
“看在老天的分上，”棺木中的尸體向驚魂未定的藥劑師說(shuō)道：“給我一點(diǎn)東西把棺材停止下來(lái)。”
令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇三
I Didn’t Take That In 我沒(méi)有把藥吃下去
A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.
有位理解能力相當(dāng)遲緩的老兄一直為便秘所苦，因此醫(yī)生給他一些利腸的栓劑。
A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.
一星期后病人回來(lái)告訴醫(yī)生，他的狀況尚未改進(jìn)。
“I’m amazed,” said the doctor. “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?”
“我覺(jué)得好奇怪，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)。“你有沒(méi)有采用我開(kāi)給你的藥方呢?”
“What do you think I ‘ve been doing, shoving it up my ass?”
“你以為我做什么呢?難道要我把它們都塞進(jìn)屁股里嗎?”
令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇四
You Said What? 你說(shuō)什么?
Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking along disconsolately when Moe happened to kick bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and a genie suddenly emerged before them.
莫伊、賴(lài)?yán)途砻虼|礁擱淺而被困在一個(gè)無(wú)人荒島上，他們寂寞無(wú)助地沿岸邊走著，這時(shí)莫伊踢到沙灘上一只瓶子，那只瓶子破了后，突然出現(xiàn)一個(gè)精靈。
“Thank you, oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness,please allow me to grant you each a wish.”
“謝謝你們從囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出來(lái)，我的主人。為了報(bào)答你們的恩惠，請(qǐng)讓我為每位實(shí)現(xiàn)一個(gè)愿望。”
“Well, it’s not too difficult to figure out what I want,” said Moe. “I wish I were back home.”
“哦，我的愿望很容易想出來(lái)，”莫伊說(shuō)“。我希望我能回到家里。”
No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.
話(huà)一說(shuō)完，莫伊就已在他可愛(ài)的布魯克林老家中。
“I want to be back home, too,” said Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.
“我也想回家，”賴(lài)?yán)f(shuō)，他馬上也就被送走了
“Gee, it’s lonesome here without Moe and Larry,” said Curly. “I wish they were here to keep me company.”
“唉，沒(méi)有莫伊和賴(lài)?yán)?，一個(gè)人在這里真無(wú)聊，”卷毛說(shuō)“。我希望他們能回到這里陪伴我。”
令人噴飯的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇五
Oh, Good Job 喔，你做得真好!
Moe, Larry, and Curly were wandering in the Arabian desert when they were captured by a band of ferocious Bedouin. “By the mode of the desert you miserable infidels must be destroyed,” declared their savage leader. “Set up the guillotine!”
莫伊·賴(lài)?yán)途砻齻€(gè)傻瓜走在阿拉伯沙漠中時(shí)，一群殘暴的貝都因人把他們抓了起來(lái)。“依據(jù)我們沙漠的規(guī)定，你們這些可憐的異教徒必須被處死，”野蠻的首領(lǐng)說(shuō)道“。把斷頭臺(tái)架設(shè)好。”
Moe was the first to be ordered to the death instrument. The blade descended but, amazingly, stopped just short of his neck.
莫伊首先被命令上斷頭臺(tái)，但令人驚訝的是，刀具落下時(shí)在接近脖子地方就停止不動(dòng)了。
Next, Larry placed his head under the huge, razor-sharp blade. But once again it stopped short of his neck.
接著賴(lài)?yán)杨^放在像剃刀刀片一樣銳利的大刀之下，但又一次刀子在接近他的頸部地方停了下來(lái)。
“By Allah, another miracle!” affirmed the sheik once more. “Release him!”
“奉阿拉真主之命，又是另一個(gè)奇跡!”酋長(zhǎng)又一次宣布“。放了他!”
Finally, Curly was led to the ominous device. Looking closely he noticed a splinter of wood blocking the path of the blade.
最后卷毛被帶到那不吉利的斷頭臺(tái)上，仔細(xì)察看后，他發(fā)現(xiàn)一塊小木片擋住了刀鋒的去路。
“Well, no wonder it’s not working,” he announced. “Here’s your problem right here...”
“難怪它不發(fā)生作用，”他宣布道。“你們的問(wèn)題就在這里……。
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