經(jīng)典英語笑話大全爆笑
經(jīng)典英語笑話大全爆笑
笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統(tǒng)及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態(tài)度。下面是學習啦小編帶來的經(jīng)典爆笑英語笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典爆笑英語笑話大全篇一
Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.
瓊斯夫婦晚上很少出去?？缮闲瞧诹?，瓊斯太太想去看電影。
A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?
今晚電影院有場好電影，我們?nèi)タ磫?
(Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.
瓊斯先生對此感到非常高興。于是他們便去了，他倆兒都喜愛這部影片。當他們從電影院出來時已經(jīng)11點鐘了。他們趕緊上了車，開始朝家開去，天色很黑。)
A:Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?
快看，比爾!有個女人正沿著公路飛快地奔跑，后面還有一個男人在追她，你看見了嗎?
B:Yes, I can.(Driving the car slowly near the woman)Can I help you?
是的，我看見了。(把車慢慢地開到女人身旁)我能幫助你嗎?
C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.
不，謝謝。我和我丈夫每次看完電影之后總是跑著回家，因為誰最后到家，誰就要洗盤子。
經(jīng)典爆笑英語笑話大全篇二
A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.
我現(xiàn)在管不了我兒子迪克了。
B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.
你用不著擔心，我也經(jīng)常與我女兒發(fā)生矛盾。
A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.
我想，迪克隨我。
B:That's not bad.
那并不是件壞事呀!
A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.
問題就壞在這里了。我三番五次地告訴他，不要照我做的去做，而要照我說的去做。可似乎根本沒有用。
B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.
比爾，看著我，究竟發(fā)生了什么，你快告訴我。我將幫你理出個頭緒來。
A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?
我，呃，呃……告訴他不要去看脫衣舞女郎，因為他可能會看到不該看的東西，你知道他怎么了?
B:What?
怎么?
A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7
信不信由你，他恰恰那么做了，你猜他看到了什么?
B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...
呃，這個方面我不是專家，不過我猜想那孩子……
A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.
沒錯，你猜對了，他看見我在那兒。
經(jīng)典爆笑英語笑話大全篇三
On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.
在教師節(jié)里，一位幼兒園教師正在接受孩子們送給她的禮物，首先花匠的兒子遞上他的禮物。
A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.
我敢打賭我知道里面是什么……是一些花。
B:That is right, but how did you know?
是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?
A:Just a wild guess.
瞎猜的。
(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.
第二個學生是糖果店老板的女兒。老師把她送的禮物舉起來。)
A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.
我敢打賭我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。
C:That's right. But how did you know?
對了，但你怎么知道的?
A:Just a lucky guess.
碰巧猜出來的。
(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.
第三份禮物來自于酒店老板的兒子，老師把它舉起來，但有液體漏了出來，她用手蘸了一滴漏出來的液體，嘗了一下味道。)
A:Is it wine?
是果酒嗎?
D:No.
不是。
(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.
老師又用舌頭嘗了一滴漏出來的東西。)
A:Is it champagne?
是香檳嗎?
D:No.
不是。
A:Now, I give up. What is it?
好吧，我猜不著了，里面到底是什么呢?
D:A puppy.
是一只小狗。
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