幽默與笑話同是社會交往活動中不可缺少的交際手段。下面小編整理了超短英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　超短英語笑話摘抄

　　守門員(中英)

　　The local football team I had just joined needed me to play goalkeeper in their next Saturday match. Because I was late completing the registration forms I was not yet officially a member, so I was told to tell anyone who asked that my name was Les Faulkner-a member of the team who wasn’t playing. That Saturday，during a quiet interval in my goal area, a man appeared behind the net. “Hello ,”he said to me.“What’s your name?”“Les Faulkner,”I replied. “Nice to meet you,” said the man. “I’m your father.”

　　我參加的那個地方足球隊要我在星期六的比賽中當(dāng)守門員?？晌覜]能及時的填好登記表，所以沒能成為正式的隊員。所以他們告訴我，如果有人問我是誰的話，我就告訴他，我叫利斯·弗克尼，一名當(dāng)時不在場的隊員。星期六那天，在比賽間隙，有一個男人出現(xiàn)在了球網(wǎng)的后面。他對我說:“喂，你叫什么名字?”“利斯·弗克尼。”“哦，很高興見到你，”這個男人說:“我是你爸爸。”

　　超短英語笑話鑒賞

　　請張開嘴(中英)

　　Doctor: Please open your mouth, Madam.

　　醫(yī)生:”請張開嘴，女士。”

　　Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.

　　女士:“非常感謝您，醫(yī)生。”

　　Doctor: Why do you thank me?

　　醫(yī)生:“為什么要感謝我呢?”

　　Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.

　　女士:“因為我的丈夫總是叫我把嘴閉上。”

　　超短英語笑話賞析

　　最長與最短(中英)

　　A teacher asked one of his students: "What is the longest and what is the shortest?"

　　老師問他的一個學(xué)生:“什么最長，什么最短?”

　　The student answered immediately: "The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.”

　　一個學(xué)生馬上回答說:“下課前的幾分鐘最長了，考試前的兒分鐘最短。”

　　超短英語笑話欣賞

　　一元錢(中英)

　　The teacher asked Tom:"Why did you come to school so late this morning?"

　　老師問湯姆:“今天早上你為什么遲到了?”

　　"Someone lost one dollar.”Answered Tom.

　　“有個人丟了一塊錢。”湯姆回答說。

　　"Oh，now I know money ,”the teacher you helped him find said.

　　“噢，我知道了，你幫助他找錢了。”老師說。

　　"No,I stood on the money until the person went away," was Tom's reply.

　　“我一直站在那一塊錢上，直到所有的人都走了。”湯姆回答說。

　　超短英語笑話品味

　　洗臉(中英)

　　Teacher: David，why don’t you wash your facie`? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?

　　老師:“戴維，你為什么不洗洗你的臉呢?我都看得出來你今天一早上吃的是什么。”

　　David: What was it?

　　戴維:“我吃什么了呢?”

　　Teacher: Eggs.

　　老師:“雞蛋。”

　　David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

　　戴維:“不對，老師，那是我昨天吃的。”

　　超短英語笑話閱讀

　　偉大的科學(xué)家(中英)

　　Teacher; Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?

　　老師:“誰能告訴我有關(guān)十八世紀(jì)的偉大科學(xué)家的一些事情呢?

　　Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

　　學(xué)生:“老師，我可以，他們都死了。”

　　超短英語笑話學(xué)習(xí)

　　太快與太慢(中英)

　　A man traveling at 130 miles per hour on the road was stopped by traffic police.

　　一個男人把車開到了每小時130英里的時速。警察把他攔了一下來。

　　“Sorry, officer.” Said the driver, “Was I driving too fast?”

　　“對不起，警官，”司機說，“我是不是開得太快了?”

　　“No, sir. You were flying too slow.”

　　“沒有，先生，你只是飛得太慢了。”