笑話是幽默的一種表現(xiàn)形式,通過(guò)闡述語(yǔ)用因素對(duì)英語(yǔ)笑話言語(yǔ)的作用機(jī)制,可以探索英語(yǔ)幽默話語(yǔ)的語(yǔ)用特征和動(dòng)態(tài)運(yùn)行模式。下面小編整理了英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯摘抄

　　沉默誓言 (中英)

　　A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.

　　一個(gè)中產(chǎn)階級(jí)男子決心遠(yuǎn)離紅塵，去當(dāng)修道士。每個(gè)出家的人都必須要立個(gè)沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允許說(shuō)兩個(gè)字，作為對(duì)這一段時(shí)間所經(jīng)歷事情的總結(jié)。

　　After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”

　　第一個(gè)五年過(guò)去了，當(dāng)修道士讓他用兩個(gè)字總結(jié)這五年的經(jīng)歷時(shí)，那人說(shuō)道“破床”。

　　When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”

　　又過(guò)了五年，當(dāng)修道士再次問(wèn)道他的時(shí)候，他回答“豬食”。

　　After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”

　　第三個(gè)五年過(guò)后他對(duì)修道士說(shuō)“放棄”。

　　The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”

　　道十點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭喃喃地說(shuō)道:“果不出我所料，這十五年來(lái)除了抱怨以外你什么也沒(méi)有做。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯鑒賞

　　場(chǎng)景 (中英)

　　Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.

　　你有沒(méi)有聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)有一個(gè)人，當(dāng)他回到家后發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的妻子正和另一個(gè)男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手槍喊到:“我受夠了!看來(lái)今天是要做一個(gè)了結(jié)了!”說(shuō)完他將槍口對(duì)準(zhǔn)自己的頭。

　　The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”

　　這時(shí)那個(gè)蕩婦喊到:“不，不要這樣，你可不能自殺呀!”那人聽(tīng)了憤怒地吼道:“閉嘴，潑婦，下一個(gè)死的就是你!”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯賞析

　　疼痛之極 (中英)

　　A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

　　一個(gè)傷痕累累的建筑工人沖進(jìn)了一家醫(yī)院，醫(yī)生馬上讓護(hù)士去拿止痛藥，“不必麻煩您了，醫(yī)生。”那人說(shuō)道，“比這更痛的傷我都經(jīng)歷過(guò)了。”

　　"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

　　“比現(xiàn)在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。

　　"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."

　　“我先說(shuō)說(shuō)讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打獵的時(shí)候突然想要大便，于是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了，那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”

　　The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

　　醫(yī)生聽(tīng)后顫抖了一下，說(shuō)道“太可怕了，那告訴我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”

　　"When I reached the end of the chain."

　　“當(dāng)我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時(shí)候。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯欣賞

　　與上帝為伍 (中英)

　　A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.

　　一個(gè)農(nóng)民買了一塊破舊荒廢的農(nóng)場(chǎng)，他準(zhǔn)備把這塊農(nóng)場(chǎng)變成興旺的園林。然而目前這塊地是雜草叢生，房屋破舊不堪，四周的籬笆也是東倒西歪。

　　During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

　　在他第一天工作的時(shí)候，城里的一個(gè)傳教士給他送去了祝福:“愿上帝與你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)你的夢(mèng)想吧!”

　　A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

　　幾個(gè)月以后，那個(gè)傳教士又一次來(lái)到農(nóng)場(chǎng)，快看那，這里與上次相比簡(jiǎn)直是天壤之別。房屋重新修好了，條件也比以前好多了，成群的牛羊在歡快地吃著青草，地里的莊稼也整整齊齊的排列著。

　　"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

　　“太神奇了”，傳教士驚呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)了你的夢(mèng)想!”

　　"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

　　“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，教士，”那個(gè)農(nóng)民說(shuō)道:“可你也要記住當(dāng)初這個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)只由上帝一人支配的時(shí)候是個(gè)什么樣子!”