簡潔英語幽默笑話大全

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網絡、雜志、微博、電影上十分盛行。下面小編整理了簡潔英語幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　簡潔英語幽默笑話品析

　　St Peter's question

　　圣彼德的問題

　　Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".

　　有三個人死了，分別是一名醫(yī)生、一名會計和一名律師。他們來到了圣彼德面前。圣彼德對他們說，如果他們想進入天堂，就得每人回答一個問題。圣彼德看著醫(yī)生開始發(fā)問，“以前電影院放過一部電影，說的是一艘船撞擊冰山后沉沒，電影的名字是什么?”　醫(yī)生回答，“<<泰坦尼克號>>”，醫(yī)生隨即被允許進入天堂。然后圣彼德看著會計說，“船上有多少人遇難?”。會計很走運，因為他剛看過這部電影，回答道，“1500人遇難。”圣彼德把會計也放進天堂了。最后，圣彼德轉過身，看著律師，非常嚴肅地用命令的口吻問道，“把1500人的名字都說出來?”

　　經典簡潔英語幽默笑話

　　A smart housewife

　　精明的家庭主婦

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half ofthe coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stovecan save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現(xiàn)在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　關于簡潔英語幽默笑話

　　Be Careful What You Wish For

　　慎重許愿

　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.

　　一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

　　慶?；顒又校晃幌膳霈F(xiàn)了。她說，由于他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.

　　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。

　　Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."

　　接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”

　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

　　仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。

　　簡潔英語幽默笑話欣賞

　　Expensive Advice

　　昂貴的建議

　　The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.

　　大夫在打發(fā)走了一個就健康問題向他咨詢的婦女之后，最后來到餐桌上。

　　"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

　　“你認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的一個律師。

　　"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

　　“有什么不應該?”律師答道，“你通過提建議提供了職業(yè)性服務。”

　　"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."

　　“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這么做。”

　　When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:

　　第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫道：

　　"For legal services, ."

　　“請付法律服務費50美元。”

　　簡潔英語幽默笑話品味

　　A Bad Impression

　　一個壞印象

　　My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you...you editor!"

　　我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕談話中，我們經常給孩子們談到我們的工作。沒人清楚他們聽懂了多少。直到有一天，我偶然聽到七歲的女兒盧希煩惱地向她五歲的妹妹喊道：“你，你----你這個編輯!”