經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話故事
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話故事
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經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話故事1：
After two sleepless nights in a noisy campground，my wife and I were dreading another evening of radios and singslongs. Then a middle-aged couple pulled into the space beside us. While the wife prepared dinner，her husband mounted two huge loud speakers on the roof of their camper. We crouched by our fire,waiting for the first blast of whatever these people considered music. To our surprise,the speakers remained silent，and just as the partiers were getting into full swing，our neighbors retired for the evening. We decided to do the same，although there seemed little chance of sleeping.
吵鬧的宿營(yíng)地使我和我老婆兩個(gè)晚上都無(wú)法入睡。我們真擔(dān)心第三個(gè)晚上的收音機(jī)聲和唱歌聲。接著，一對(duì)中年夫婦又在我們的附近找到了塊兒地方呆了下來(lái)。女的做飯時(shí)，男的在他的帳頂上架起兩個(gè)擴(kuò)音器。我們圍火而坐，等待著音樂一響出現(xiàn)的第一次喧鬧。出乎我們的意料，擴(kuò)音器沒有任何聲響。正當(dāng)參加舞會(huì)的人進(jìn)入高潮時(shí)，我們的這兩位鄰居已開始休息了。雖然我們睡意還未到，我們還是決定睡覺。
As our tent was throbbing to a rock number，a low moan became audible，developing into an unmistakable wolf howl. It was soon joined by others in rising and falling harmonies. After reaching peak volume，the wild chorus faded quickly to utter silence. The campground was deathly quiet for what seemed like ages，and then a deep but pleasant voice said，"Relax，folks，it's just a recording. Good night."
我們的帳篷隨著搖滾樂在顫動(dòng)，這時(shí)好像還伴隨著嗚咽聲，靳漸地這種叫聲已無(wú)疑地變成了兒狼嚎。這種狼嚎聲很快又摻進(jìn)了其他的此起彼伏的和弦，一直到了極點(diǎn)。之后這種瘋狂的叫喊聲剎然而止，整個(gè)營(yíng)地好像度過(guò)了幾個(gè)時(shí)代的死一般的寂靜后，一個(gè)深沉而又悅耳的聲音傳了出來(lái):“各位，別緊張，這只是錄音，晚安。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話故事2：
It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said，“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty，or give me death'?"
開學(xué)的頭一天，四年級(jí)來(lái)了一個(gè)新生。這是一個(gè)日本商人的兒子。老師跟全班打了招呼，并說(shuō):“我們先來(lái)復(fù)習(xí)一些美國(guó)的歷文。誰(shuí)曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)‘要么就讓我死，要么就給我自由’?”
She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba，who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry，1775,"said the boy.“Now，”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people，by the people，for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”
老師看到的好像是一片空白的臉，只有那位“東芝”舉了手回答說(shuō):“亨利·柏垂克，1775年。”
Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln，1863. "
老師又說(shuō):“好，誰(shuí)說(shuō)過(guò)‘民有、民治、民享的政府不會(huì)從地球土消失’?”
The teacher snapped at the class，"You should be ashamed. Toshiba，who is new to our country，knows more about it than you do."
然而除了東芝以外全班仍沒有任何反應(yīng)。
As she turned to write something on the blackboard，she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”
“林肯， 1863年。”
"Who said that?"she demanded.
老師沖著全班打了一個(gè)響指說(shuō):“你們應(yīng)感到害躁，這個(gè)新來(lái)我們國(guó)家的東芝比你們知道的都多。”
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca，1982. "he said.
當(dāng)老師在黑板上寫字時(shí)，聽到一聲咒罵:“該死的日本人!”
老師問(wèn):“誰(shuí)說(shuō)的?”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話故事3：
Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久，我父親的同事夫婦倆順便來(lái)看我父母。這兩個(gè)客人沒被邀請(qǐng)出席婚禮。所以那位女士說(shuō):“真遺憾，那天我沒有去教堂。”我媽媽以為她的意思是沒有來(lái)參加喝彩俱樂部所招待的茶和甩賣活動(dòng)。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我媽媽回答說(shuō):“你沒有來(lái)太好了，免得你看那片亂哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人說(shuō):“我原打算看看大家穿得如何，你那天穿的是什么?’，
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
媽媽說(shuō):“就是那套老式的海軍呢和我的牛津服唄。值得一提的是，我們掙了一千多塊錢。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你們收了贈(zèng)款了嗎?”那位女士驚奇池問(wèn)。
"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢，沒有，”媽媽說(shuō):“你知道怎么著，許多人只是來(lái)看熱鬧，你從他們身上是分文也得不到的，所以我們決定收門票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
說(shuō)到這兒，爸爸覺得意思搞誤會(huì)了。他建議媽媽解釋一下，我妹妹的婚禮既不是哄亂，也沒收取任何錢財(cái)。
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