關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文精選
隨著社會(huì)經(jīng)濟(jì)的發(fā)展和全球化的深入,學(xué)習(xí)者對(duì)于英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)的要求也發(fā)生了變化。英語(yǔ)越來(lái)越成為人們使用的一種工具。小編精心收集了關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文：我家的聰明狗會(huì)買報(bào)紙
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration(演示) and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted(小跑) off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
“How much did you give him?” asked the owner.
“Five dollars.”
“Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.”
聰明狗
一位養(yǎng)狗人宣稱：要是給了愛(ài)犬錢(qián)，它便會(huì)到報(bào)亭買份報(bào)紙來(lái)。他的朋友堅(jiān)持要來(lái)做個(gè)演示，并給了狗一些錢(qián)。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個(gè)小時(shí)過(guò)去了，仍不見(jiàn)它帶報(bào)紙回來(lái)。
“你給了它多少錢(qián)?”狗的主人問(wèn)。
“五元。”
“這就是了。你給它五元錢(qián)時(shí)，它就去看電影。”
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文：I know who god is!
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?
The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.
The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?
The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.
The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
兒子：媽媽，上帝是白人還是黑人?
媽媽：寶貝，上帝是白人也是黑人!
兒子：那上帝是男人還是女人?
媽媽：寶貝，上帝是男人也是女人!
兒子：哦。我知道了，上帝是邁克爾·杰克遜!
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文：A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
由于生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門(mén)。因?yàn)橛悬c(diǎn)緊急，他決定坐飛機(jī)。乘機(jī)旅行時(shí)，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機(jī)，他就尋找一個(gè)靠窗的座位。他發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一個(gè)靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒(méi)有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個(gè)空座位走去。
然而，等到了那兒，他看見(jiàn)座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫(xiě)的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預(yù)設(shè)該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來(lái)沒(méi)有在飛機(jī)上見(jiàn)過(guò)如此不同尋常的啟事。不過(guò)，他想飛機(jī)上一定裝了什么特別重的物品，于是他找了個(gè)不靠窗的位置。
又有兩三個(gè)乘客試圖坐在那個(gè)士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開(kāi)了。當(dāng)快滿座時(shí)，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進(jìn)機(jī)艙。一直在注意進(jìn)艙旅客的那個(gè)士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
關(guān)于幽默的英語(yǔ)短文：Expensive Advice 昂貴的建議
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:
"For legal services, ."
昂貴的建議
大夫在打發(fā)走了一個(gè)就健康問(wèn)題向他咨詢的婦女之后，最后來(lái)到餐桌上。
“你認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該向她收費(fèi)嗎?”大夫問(wèn)坐在身邊的一個(gè)律師。
“有什么不應(yīng)該?”律師答道，“你通過(guò)提建議提供了職業(yè)性服務(wù)。”
“謝謝，”大夫說(shuō)道，“看來(lái)我得這么做。”
第二天當(dāng)大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫(xiě)賬單時(shí)，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫(xiě)道：
“請(qǐng)付法律服務(wù)費(fèi)50美元。”
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