高考英語寫作怎么寫
高考英語寫作怎么寫
要想在高考中的英語寫作正常發(fā)揮的話,我們先來看幾篇英語作文。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家整理的高考英語寫作范文,供大家參閱!
高考英語寫作范文:學(xué)生的壞習(xí)慣
The Bad Manners of Students
Dear fellow students, I am going to talk about some unhealthy lifestyles which exist in our dailylife. First, many students go to school without breakfast. They hold the excuse that they haveno enough time.[1] Without breakfast, I think, exerts a bad effect on our health,[2] for weneed enough energy to contribute to study. Second, eating junk food is a commonphenomenon, which makes lots of students become fatter and weaker. Third, there are a smallnumber of students willing to exercise, which lead to students easily fall into illness.[3]
In a word, we should eat more healthy food and work out regularly. Only when we learn to leada scientific lifestyle[4] can we build a strong body and spirit.That's all. Thank you!
Monitor ××
【作為點(diǎn)評(píng)】
[1] they have no enough time 不符合英語習(xí)慣,此處用they don't have enough time更合適。
[2] 在這個(gè)句子中沒有主語,可以將前面的介詞短語改成非謂語動(dòng)詞做主語。建議改法:Not eatingbreakfast, I think, exerts bad effect on our health.
[3] lead to 是一個(gè)動(dòng)詞短語,to 為介詞,后面不適合加一般陳述句作為賓語,建議改成:which leads to adisturbing result that students fall into illness.
[4] live/lead a good life 過好日子,如果說形成什么樣的生活方式用develop/form;develop a scientificlifestyle.
總評(píng):21分,這是一篇很通暢的文章,思路清晰,行文流暢。如果能避免出現(xiàn)的文中的幾個(gè)小錯(cuò)誤,使文章更完美些,分?jǐn)?shù)還能提高。
高考英語寫作范文:讀書的重要性
作者:胡筱璇 (福建 福州)
作文題目:書是人類知識(shí)的寶庫,書對(duì)我們的重要性人人皆知。請(qǐng)結(jié)合自己的學(xué)習(xí)和成長談?wù)勀銓?duì)書的重要性的看法。內(nèi)容包括:
1. 分析書的重要性
2. 你對(duì)書的個(gè)人態(tài)度
全文120字左右,不得透漏個(gè)人真實(shí)信息。
習(xí)作全文:
The Importance of Books
People without books are like fish without water[1]. So[2] there's no denying that book is ofsignificance in our life, being a part of us.
We all need books to shape our characters widen our horizon and make us moreknowledgeable and skilled[3]. Furthermore, we can acquire happiness and relax[4] when weread some interesting books. From another perspective, we are in an age full of fiercecompetition so that knowledge comes first to sharpen our competitive edge. So[5] we haveto equip our brains with all kinds of books to stand out from others and also make morecontributions to the society.
So[6] I hope, sincerely, that we can get along well with books, treating them as our goodfriends, loving them, valuing them.
全文總評(píng):這篇習(xí)作審題嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),邏輯清晰,按照命題要求完成了全部寫作任務(wù)。同時(shí),從整體的語言運(yùn)用上看,雖然出現(xiàn)了一些不太恰當(dāng)?shù)谋磉_(dá),但作者相對(duì)豐富的語言素材積累是顯而易見的。因此這是一篇五檔作文。然而,該習(xí)作有“開篇不利”之嫌,全文開頭給讀者帶來一絲生硬的感覺。此外,作者在上下文銜接方面處理的還是比較欠缺:簡單詞匯“so”的反復(fù)誤用影響了文章的整體美感,讓它失去了本該屬于它的位置。另外,論述的內(nèi)容有些單薄乏力,如果能抓住一兩個(gè)要素更加充分地展開便能達(dá)到更佳的表達(dá)效果。綜合評(píng)分20【滿分25】。
修改意見:
[1] 全文的第一句話雖然從語法上沒有什么錯(cuò)誤,但顯得不地道,有較為嚴(yán)重的“漢式思維”之嫌。建議改為“Books are to people what water is to fish”。另外,比喻時(shí)應(yīng)注意喻體的選擇。此處魚沒水就不能活,人沒了書最多也就是精神空虛。
[2] 此句只有So引導(dǎo)的結(jié)果狀語從句,而不見主句。建議在So前加上逗號(hào),使之成為副詞用法。下面第[5],[6]處都出現(xiàn)了同樣的問題。
[3] 此處很明顯是三個(gè)動(dòng)詞短語的并列,但中間少了逗號(hào),容易導(dǎo)致誤解或信息傳遞不暢。同時(shí),horizon表示“知識(shí)范圍、眼界”的時(shí)候一般都用復(fù)數(shù)形式。建議改為:shape our characters, widen our horizonsand make us more knowledgeable and skilled.
[4] 這里是對(duì)relax詞性的誤用,得到快樂和放松應(yīng)該用放松的名詞形式relaxation.
[5] 這里還是so使用的問題,為了避免重復(fù),建議在用詞和句式上都做出修改。另外,equip our brainswith books搭配上也不合適。建議改為:Thus, we have to equip our brains with all kinds ofknowledge from books, making us stand out from others and make more contributions to thesociety.
[6] 此處還是so的使用問題,可以在so后面加上逗號(hào)。但是作為全文的結(jié)語,建議作者使用更有書面總結(jié)味道的副詞或短語,如:From the above-mentioned arguments或者直接去掉效果都更好。
高考英語寫作范文:專業(yè)與學(xué)校哪個(gè)更重要
作者:陳悅 (安徽省 淮南市)
作文題目:即將步入大學(xué)的你面臨著選擇高校與選擇專業(yè)的重大挑戰(zhàn)。對(duì)于專業(yè)與學(xué)校哪個(gè)更重要,大家各持自見,請(qǐng)向某英文雜志社投稿,對(duì)該問題進(jìn)行闡述。內(nèi)容包括:
1. 對(duì)擇校與擇專業(yè)問題的分析
2. 你的選擇和理由
全文120字左右,不得透漏個(gè)人真實(shí)信息。
習(xí)作全文:
Every student will be faced with the question after he passes the college entrance examinations:Should we choose a good major or a good university first?
Towards this [改:For this matter, With regard to this issue等], there's a totally differentargument [改:there are totally different arguments]. Some students are fully convinced thatchoosing a desirable major is more significant.
Many students think interest matters mcuh. They believe that an ideal major is important forgetting good jobs. Meanwhile, there're still other students tend to study further. [此處兩個(gè)謂語,建議改成:another 10% tend to further their study].
This may be true, but there're still opposing ideas. They hold the firmly belief [改成:hole firmlythe belief] that it’s Effect of Prestige that drives them to choose the famous university. Also,some others think the good environment in the university does good to their growing [改成:growth].
Were I left to make a judgment, not will I hesitate a moment to back the latter [此處主句不該倒裝,而且也要用虛擬情態(tài)動(dòng)詞would;直接寫成:I would not hesitate a moment to back the latter].It's my thought that we can develop our interests during the college. Nevertheless, we can'tgive up our dream of an idea university from our childhood. So by no means will I sacrifice afamous college for a desirable major.
全文總評(píng):該習(xí)作從主題上與命題要求完全吻合,內(nèi)容豐富,論據(jù)充分,邏輯性強(qiáng)。雖然在使用高級(jí)語言素材的時(shí)候出現(xiàn)一些錯(cuò)誤,但不太影響理解,思想傳達(dá)的效率尚可。評(píng)定檔次為四檔高分,具體分?jǐn)?shù)為19分[總分25分]。
評(píng)分者建議:該考生具備基本的寫作能力,有比較豐富的語言素材積累,但值得注意的地方有兩點(diǎn):
1. 缺乏對(duì)自己作品進(jìn)行基本審核的意識(shí),比如,一個(gè)單句中只能存在一個(gè)謂語,一個(gè)謂語出現(xiàn)在句中以后,接下來還有必要出現(xiàn)動(dòng)詞的時(shí)候就應(yīng)該立即想到要么用從句,要么用非謂語動(dòng)詞,要么就應(yīng)該結(jié)束前句重新闡述。
2. 對(duì)于基礎(chǔ)詞法和常見表達(dá)還應(yīng)該加強(qiáng)積累。實(shí)際上,每個(gè)學(xué)生都有自己原始積累的一些表達(dá)方法,一旦形成了使用習(xí)慣,就很難改變,而這些習(xí)慣中有些是錯(cuò)誤的,不少同學(xué)就習(xí)慣地錯(cuò)下去;有些習(xí)慣雖然是正確的,卻為陳詞濫調(diào),沒有新意。這都非常影響英語作文水平的提高。建議學(xué)生朋友建立自己的作文檔案,把每一次習(xí)作中積累到的素材進(jìn)行歸納總結(jié)是最高效的提升方法。
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