一位母親寫給女兒的信美文
Dear Girls,
我親愛(ài)的孩子們,
You're so young right now, but I hope these letters will be helpful to you one day when you're older. There is so much I wish I could ask my mother now that I am a grown woman. There is so much we never got to talk about. I'm planning on being around for you well into your lives and adulthood, but even so, I think having these letters will be useful in some way. Who knows how things might change down the road, and at least you'll have your 34-year-old mother's thoughts down on paper.
Anyway, I want this letter to be about beauty and my relationship to it. I feel this enormous responsibility, as a mother of two little girls, to lead you down a path that is relatively healthy when it comes to beauty and self image. In a lot of women's eyes I've probably already failed in that respect due to the amount of pink-princess-Barbie mess cluttering up Vera's room right now.
你們現(xiàn)在如此稚嫩,但我希望將來(lái)某一天等你們長(zhǎng)大了,這封信將會(huì)對(duì)你們有幫助。作為一個(gè)成年女人,我也有很多想問(wèn)我媽媽的問(wèn)題,有很多我和她從未談及過(guò)的事情。在你們的成長(zhǎng)中,我會(huì)在你們身邊幫你們過(guò)好生活長(zhǎng)大成人,但即使這樣,我認(rèn)為這封信也能通過(guò)其他方式使你們獲益。誰(shuí)也不知道將來(lái)會(huì)發(fā)生什么,但至少你們會(huì)有我這個(gè)34歲的母親把想法寫下來(lái)供你們參考。
不管怎么樣,我希望談?wù)勱P(guān)于美以及我對(duì)美的看法。作為一個(gè)有兩個(gè)女兒的母親,在談到美和自身形象的問(wèn)題,我有重要的責(zé)任為你們引導(dǎo)相對(duì)健康的認(rèn)識(shí)之路。雖然在許多女人眼里,我這方面做得并不值得稱贊,因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在在Vera的房間里還亂糟糟地塞滿了卡哇伊的芭比娃娃。
But I will say this about Barbie (and all the rest of that princess garbage): I played with that stuff for a solid decade when I was growing up and here I am now at a healthy weight with a healthy outlook about my body and image. I have a masters degree and have a successful career and a published book. If Barbie were really so damaging to my femininity and self-image I highly doubt I could list all of the latter as accomplishments.
But I get it too. It's hard for women to maintain a healthy self-image. It's hard not to obsess over our weight and to wish we could afford more stylish clothes. It's hard not to covet someone else's hair or hips or eyelashes, and to spend inordinate amounts of time trying to achieve looks that we were never suited for in the first place.
但對(duì)于芭比娃娃(以及系列相關(guān)的公主垃圾玩具)我想說(shuō)的是,我小時(shí)候玩了整整十年的洋娃娃,現(xiàn)在我是一個(gè)擁有體重標(biāo)準(zhǔn)、保持健康外貌的女性,我獲得了碩士學(xué)位,我事業(yè)成功還出版了一本書。如果芭比娃娃真的對(duì)我的女性特質(zhì)和個(gè)人形象有破壞性的影響,那么我真是非常懷疑我列出的那些成就是怎么來(lái)的。
但是我也懂,對(duì)女人來(lái)講保持健康的形象很不容易。想要不被體重困擾,不奢求自己能有經(jīng)濟(jì)能力購(gòu)買更時(shí)尚的衣服,這真的很難;不覬覦別的女生的發(fā)型、翹臀和睫毛,不在自己身上無(wú)節(jié)制的花時(shí)間試圖讓自己駕馭那些完全不適合的造型,這些也都太難了。
I have girlfriends around whom I have to brace myself to see, because even though I love them, just being around them makes me self-conscious. I look at old pictures of my mother and wonder why I've never been able to be as skinny as she was. And then I have friends who are thinner than their mothers ever were. We women go round and round in circles, holding hands and trying to be one another sometimes.
Men like to think we dress and style ourselves for them, but why would we when they hardly notice? I've never tried so hard to look good as when I know I'm about to meet up with a stylish girlfriend. It's she who will notice my slimmed down waist or the thinnest, little bracelet on my arm.
我身邊有一群女性朋友,雖然我很愛(ài)她們,但每次跟她們接觸我都需要打起精神,只是和她們待在一起我都會(huì)覺(jué)得不自然。看著我媽媽的老照片,我總是納悶為什么自己永遠(yuǎn)不能像她那么骨感,然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)身邊有朋友比她媽媽年輕時(shí)還要瘦。我們女人總在轉(zhuǎn)圈圈,有時(shí)還牽著彼此的手試著扮演對(duì)方的角色。
男人以為我們穿衣服打扮自己是為了給他們看,但為什么當(dāng)男人幾乎不去注意這些時(shí)我們依然樂(lè)此不疲呢?在我知道自己馬上將會(huì)見(jiàn)一個(gè)時(shí)髦的女性朋友之前,我就會(huì)非常非常努力地打扮自己,讓自己看起來(lái)容光煥發(fā)。而她也肯定會(huì)注意到我苗條的腰線和手臂上纖細(xì)精巧的手鐲。
And I have no doubt that the two of you, Veronica and Juliette, will endlessly compare yourselves to each other. You will wonder why one of you got longer legs or shinier hair or bigger breasts or thicker eyelashes. I know this, not because I know sisters, but because I know women. The thing I'll tell you, the thing to remember is this: not even the prettiest of us feel settled. The girl you think looks the most perfect in all the world is probably the girl who wants to change herself more than anyone else.
Don't take these on. Don't let that message carry any weight within yourselves. You are not worthless. You are so full of love and light and you should let it shine through you every second of every day. If someone pushes you down for standing tall then just push yourself back up and stand even taller. And know that the reason they pushed you down in the first place is just because they're scared. I will tell you that I have never in my life felt more beautiful than when I have stood my tallest.
毫無(wú)疑問(wèn),我親愛(ài)的女兒維多妮卡和朱麗葉,你們以后也會(huì)無(wú)止境地相互比較。你們會(huì)郁悶為什么對(duì)方的腿比自己長(zhǎng),頭發(fā)比自己亮,胸部比自己豐滿或者她有更濃密的睫毛。我懂這些,不是因?yàn)槲伊私饨忝藐P(guān)系,而是我了解女人。我要告訴你們而你們必須牢記的一件事是:即使最漂亮的女人也沒(méi)有安全感,在你眼里最完美的女孩或許比任何人都想改變自己。
不要太在乎這些,不要讓這樣的信息增加自己的負(fù)擔(dān)。你有自己獨(dú)特的價(jià)值。你的生命中充滿愛(ài)和光芒,讓它們每天每分每秒都照耀著你的生活吧!如果有人為了站得高一點(diǎn)而把你推倒,那么你得自己堅(jiān)強(qiáng)地站起來(lái),讓自己站得更高!要知道他們推你下去只是因?yàn)樗麄兛謶?。而我要告訴你們的是:當(dāng)我站在人生最高處的時(shí)候,我覺(jué)得那是我覺(jué)得最美麗的時(shí)刻!
Stand tall.
昂首挺立。
Love,
愛(ài)你們的,
Mom
媽媽