大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景作文及點(diǎn)評(píng)
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景作文及點(diǎn)評(píng)
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大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景作文及點(diǎn)評(píng)：Our Changjing River
We call the Yellow River our "Mother River" and we also see the Chang, jiang River as our "Father River" since these two rivers are the source of the civilization of Chinese people. Our remote ancestors lived along the river, so both rivers have witnessed the growth of Chinese people and they are our valuable heritage.
My childhood is closely associated with the Changjiang River. When I was young, my father often took me to the riverside.I was always struck by the beautiful scenery of the river. The water was pure, clean and blue. Some birds flew down, scraped the water and roared up suddenly and some grass floated in the water quietly. Looking into the distance, I saw the river wandering toward the east. However, after the thunderstorm, the water was turbulent with some whirls in the middle of the river.The fresh breeze gave my face a feeling of moisture. Even today I still remember the magnificent scene and the impressive feeling.
Some unpleasant changes have taken place since then. Many hills alongside the river have become bald. More and more mud and dust are being washed down into the river each year. Worse
still, driven by economic profits, some factories keep pouring pollutants into the river.
Luckily people have been awakened to their obligation.They learn a lesson from the big flood in 1998 that we have to nourish our Changjiang River just as it has nourished us and protect it just as it has protected us. Only after a harmonious relationship has been established between men and the river can we prevent the tragedy happening again and restore beauty to our Changjiang River.
簡(jiǎn) 評(píng)
本文中，作者描寫(xiě)了童年所見(jiàn)的長(zhǎng)江上的美景，表達(dá)了作者對(duì)生態(tài)破壞，環(huán)境污染問(wèn)題的關(guān)注。文章一開(kāi)始，作者就把長(zhǎng)江與黃河做了一個(gè)類(lèi)比，把長(zhǎng)江稱(chēng)為“父親河”。作者的童年在長(zhǎng)江邊度過(guò)，因此第二段中描寫(xiě)了當(dāng)時(shí)未受污染的長(zhǎng)江上的景色：藍(lán)色的長(zhǎng)江水純凈、清澈，可以看見(jiàn)其中的水草，一些鳥(niǎo)在江面上來(lái)回飛舞;遠(yuǎn)處，長(zhǎng)江水靜靜向東流，而暴風(fēng)雨后，江水湍流，激起幾個(gè)旋渦，清新的微風(fēng)吹在臉上，感到微微濕潤(rùn)。然而，好景不長(zhǎng)，漸漸地，江邊的山禿了，大量的塵土沖入江中。更糟糕的是，周?chē)墓S向江中傾倒污染物。最后，作者引用了1998年發(fā)生的洪災(zāi)，提醒人們要飲水思源，保護(hù)環(huán)境，防止悲劇再次發(fā)生。
本文不是單純地寫(xiě)景，而是通過(guò)描寫(xiě)長(zhǎng)江昔日的美景，提出一個(gè)深刻的問(wèn)題，呼吁人們?cè)鰪?qiáng)環(huán)保意識(shí)，提升了文章的立意。在語(yǔ)言上，作者把寫(xiě)景與說(shuō)理自然地融合起來(lái)，展示了良好的寫(xiě)作功底。
稍嫌不足之處是由于二、三兩段之間意義上有一個(gè)明顯的轉(zhuǎn)折，第三段段首應(yīng)該加上銜接詞however，否則顯得過(guò)于突然。
(點(diǎn)評(píng)教師：黃鶯)
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景作文及點(diǎn)評(píng)：The Moon
The world is enveloped in moonlight. A poetic feeling arises and softness pervades the atmosphere. At this time, a breeze of ten accompanies the silvery light of the moon and gives the world a peculiar appearance and the people a peculiar feeling. The air is suffused with a sweet scent, driving away the ugliness and squal or of the daytime, soothing the distressed and wretched souls. If
you sing a song, your voice will reach the clouds. If you read a poem, it will echo in the mountains and valleys far away. If you hum a lullaby, its rhythm will send the whole sleepless city to dreams.
簡(jiǎn) 評(píng)
本文描寫(xiě)了月光下的都市沉浸在一片安寧與恬靜中。不再有眩目的陽(yáng)光，一陣清風(fēng)伴隨著銀色的月光，空氣中彌漫著絲絲芳香。月光驅(qū)散了白天的一切丑陋和骯臟，撫慰著痛苦和不幸的人們。最后三個(gè)句子結(jié)構(gòu)并列，意義遞進(jìn)，以唱歌或吟詩(shī)作比，表現(xiàn)出月夜的寧?kù)o。
本文側(cè)重于對(duì)感覺(jué)的描寫(xiě)，包括具體的和抽象的，充滿了想像力。讀來(lái)像一首優(yōu)美的詩(shī)歌，在寫(xiě)景的同時(shí)表達(dá)了作者對(duì)社會(huì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的思考，對(duì)安寧生活的向往。
(點(diǎn)評(píng)教師：黃鶯)
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景作文及點(diǎn)評(píng)：The Cherry Tree
One afternoon, a close friend of mine came up to me excitedly:
"Julia, don't you know that there's a cherry tree in our school?"
"A cherry tree? Really? Where?"
Cherry trees were so scarce that I had only seen them in the film "Romantic Cherry".
"In Xi Garden. Hurry! Let's go and see it!"
I dropped my book and followed my friend out of the class
As soon as I stepped into Xi Garden, I began seeking the precious "pink" eagerly. And ho, there it was! In the distance,several pink "clouds" were floating above a small pavilion. That was it! My cherry tree!
We quickened our steps. Little by little, the gossamer like pink "clouds" grew bigger and bigger and at last seemed to occupy the blue sky when we were just standing under the cherry, on a small slope. Beneath my feet, the soil was covered by fallen petals. What a wonderful experience! Stretching my arms widely, I felt as if flying in the air weightlessly in the world of pink.
When a gentle breeze passed by, hundreds of petals parachuted down. They danced and whirled beautifully in the air and blurred my vision. The petals were so light that it took them some time to fall down onto the ground or into the pool.
The petals lying on the ground joined their brothers and sisters to extend a pink carpet while those floating on the water were setting out on a mysterious journey.
"I surely will be sorry when all of the petals have fallen down." My friend said woefully.
"No. Although they have left their home and have been separated from each other, they are still happy and composed and try to do their best where God place them." I said to myself,firmly and hopefully.
簡(jiǎn) 評(píng)
本文描寫(xiě)了櫻桃樹(shù)開(kāi)花的美景和作者喜悅的心情。呈現(xiàn)在作者眼前的是一個(gè)粉紅色的世界：頭頂上漂浮著粉紅色的“云彩”，腳下粉紅色的花瓣覆蓋著大地。作者對(duì)花瓣飄落的描寫(xiě)非常精彩：hundreds“petals parachuted down;They danced and whirled beautifully Intheair，使讀者仿佛身臨其境。在作者筆下，這些花瓣都有了生命的靈氣：落在地上的花瓣合力展開(kāi)一塊粉色的地毯，而落在水中的花瓣開(kāi)始了它們的神秘之旅。
最后一段點(diǎn)明了作者對(duì)落花紛紛的理解：不管身處何地，都要力求做的最好。這一理解非常富有哲理，令人不禁想起了“落花不是無(wú)情物，化作春泥更護(hù)花”的詩(shī)句。
(點(diǎn)評(píng)教師：黃鶯)
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