英文小說(shuō)連載《朗讀者The Reader》10&11

　　導(dǎo)讀：教書(shū)育人楷模，更好地指導(dǎo)自己的學(xué)習(xí)，讓自己不斷成長(zhǎng)。讓我們一起到學(xué)習(xí)啦一起學(xué)習(xí)吧!下面學(xué)習(xí)啦網(wǎng)的小編給你們帶來(lái)了《英文小說(shuō)連載《朗讀者The Reader》10&11》供考生們參考。

　　英文小說(shuō)連載《朗讀者The Reader》Part 2 Chapter 10

　　I HAVE NO memory of the Friday seminar meetings. Even when I recall the trial， I cannot remember what topics we selected for scholarly discussion. What did we talk about? What did we want to know? What did the professor teach us?

　　But I remember the Sundays. The days in court gave me a new hunger for the colors and smells of nature. On Fridays and Saturdays I managed to catch up on what I had missed of my studies during the other days of the week， so that I could complete my course assignments and pass the semester. On Sundays， I took off by myself.

　　Heiligenberg， St. Michaels Basilica， the Bismarck Tower， the Philosophers Path， the banks of the riverI didnt vary my route much from one Sunday to the next. I found there was enough variety in the greens that became richer and richer from week to week， and in the floodplain of the Rhine， that was sometimes in a heat haze， sometimes hidden behind curtains of rain and sometimes overhung by storm clouds， and in the smells of the berries and wildflowers in the woods when the sun blazed down on them， and of earth and last years rotting leaves when it rained. Anyway I dont need or seek much variety. Each journey a little further than the last， the next vacation in the new place I discovered during my last vacation and liked . . . For a while I thought I should be more daring， and made myself go to Ceylon， Egypt， and Brazil， before I went back to making familiar regions more familiar. I see more in them.

　　I have rediscovered the place in the woods where Hannas secret became clear to me. There is nothing special about it now， nor was there anything special then， no strangely shaped tree or cliff， no unusual view of the city and the plain， nothing that would invite startling associations. In thinking about Hanna， going round and round in the same tracks week after week， one thought had split off， taken another direction， and finally produced its own conclusion. When it did so， it was doneit could have been anywhere， or at least anywhere the familiarity of the surroundings and the scenery allowed what was truly surprising， what didnt come like a bolt from the blue， but had been growing inside myself， to be recognized and accepted. It happened on a path that climbed steeply up the mountain， crossed the road， passed a spring， and then wound under old， tall， dark trees and out into light underbrush.

　　Hanna could neither read nor write.

　　That was why she had had people read to her. That was why she had let me do all the writing and reading on our bicycle trip and why she had lost control that morning in the hotel when she found my note， realized I would assume she knew what it said， and was afraid shed be exposed. That was why she had avoided being promoted by the streetcar company; as a conductor she could conceal her weakness， but it would have become obvious when she was being trained to become a driver. That was also why she had refused the promotion at Siemens and become a guard. That was why she had admitted to writing the report in order to escape a confrontation with an expert. Had she talked herself into a corner at the trial for the same reason? Because she couldnt read the daughters book or the indictment， couldnt see the openings that would allow her to build a defense， and thus could not prepare herself accordingly? Was that why she sent her chosen wards to Auschwitz? To silence them in case they had noticed something? And was that why she always chose the weak ones in the first place?

　　Was that why? I could understand that she was ashamed at not being able to read or write， and would rather drive me away than expose herself. I was no stranger to shame as the cause of behavior that was deviant or defensive， secretive or misleading or hurtful. But could Hannas shame at being illiterate be sufficient reason for her behavior at the trial or in the camp? To accept exposure as a criminal for fear of being exposed as an illiterate? To commit crimes to avoid the same thing?

　　How often I have asked myself these same questions， both then and since. If Hannas motive was fear of exposurewhy opt for the horrible exposure as a criminal over the harmless exposure as an illiterate? Or did she believe she could escape exposure altogether? Was she simply stupid? And was she vain enough， and evil enough， to become a criminal simply to avoid exposure?

　　Both then and since， I have always rejected this. No， Hanna had not decided in favor of crime. She had decided against a promotion at Siemens， and fell into a job as a guard. And no， she had not dispatched the delicate and the weak on transports to Auschwitz because they had read to her; she had chosen them to read to her because she wanted to make their last month bearable before their inevitable dispatch to Auschwitz. And no， at the trial Hanna did not weigh exposure as an illiterate against exposure as a criminal. She did not calculate and she did not maneuver. She accepted that she would be called to account， and simply did not wish to endure further exposure. She was not pursuing her own interests， but fighting for her own truth， her own justice. Because she always had to dissimulate somewhat， and could never be completely candid， it was a pitiful truth and a pitiful justice， but it was hers， and the struggle for it was her struggle.

　　She must have been completely exhausted. Her struggle was not limited to the trial. She was struggling， as she always had struggled， not to show what she could do but to hide what she couldnt do. A life made up of advances that were actually frantic retreats and victories that were concealed defeats.

　　I was oddly moved by the discrepancy between what must have been Hannas actual concerns when she left my hometown and what I had imagined and theorized at the time. I had been sure that I had driven her away because I had betrayed and denied her， when in fact she had simply been running away from being found out by the streetcar company. However， the fact that I had not driven her away did not change the fact that I had betrayed her. So I was still guilty. And if I was not guilty because one cannot be guilty of betraying a criminal， then I was guilty of having loved a criminal.

　　我對(duì)每天都自愿參加的研討會(huì)沒(méi)有留下什么記憶，即使我回憶法庭的審理情形，也記不起來(lái)我們都做了哪些科學(xué)的整理工作，我們就什么問(wèn)題進(jìn)行了討論，我們想要知道什么，那位教授都教了我們什么。

　　但是，我卻記得那些周日。在法庭的那些天，使我對(duì)大自然的色彩和氣息產(chǎn)生了新的渴望。在節(jié)假日和星期六，我把在學(xué)習(xí)中所落下的課程盡可能都補(bǔ)上了，這樣，在做課堂練習(xí)時(shí)，我至少能跟得上，也能完成本學(xué)期的學(xué)分。星期天，我總是出去。

　　圣山，米西爾教堂，彼斯麥塔，哲學(xué)家之路，河岸，一個(gè)星期天接著一個(gè)星期天，我走的路線僅有很小的變動(dòng)。一個(gè)星期接著一個(gè)星期，我所看到的大自然足以用豐富多彩、變化無(wú)窮來(lái)形容。深綠色的萊茵平原有時(shí)處在熱氣中，有時(shí)在云霧中，有時(shí)在雷雨烏云中。在森林里，當(dāng)陽(yáng)光照耀時(shí)可聞得花香，聞得果甜;當(dāng)雨水四濺時(shí)可噴得到泥土的氣息，嗅得到去年新落下的樹(shù)葉的味道。我一點(diǎn)不需要也不尋找比這更多的多樣性。行程一次比一次遠(yuǎn)些，下次度假的地方通常是上次度假時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)并喜歡的地方。有好長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間，我認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該更大膽一些，應(yīng)該強(qiáng)迫自己去錫蘭、埃及和巴西，不過(guò)，我還是去了我所熟悉的地區(qū)，為的是加深對(duì)舊地的了解。在這些地方我看到的更多。

　　在森林里，我又發(fā)現(xiàn)了我揭開(kāi)漢娜秘密的地方。那不是一個(gè)什么特別的地方，當(dāng)時(shí)也沒(méi)有什么特別之處，沒(méi)有別具一格的樹(shù)木或懸崖峭壁，沒(méi)有什么非同一般的可以看到那座城市和那片平原的視角，沒(méi)有什么會(huì)促使你產(chǎn)生意想不到的聯(lián)想。在周而復(fù)始他對(duì)漢娜進(jìn)行思考后，我竟產(chǎn)生了一種想法，我追蹤了這個(gè)想法，最后也得出了結(jié)論。真是筋疲力盡之時(shí)，也正是柳暗花明之日。這種情況隨處可見(jiàn)，或者至少在這種情況下隨處可見(jiàn)：你對(duì)一個(gè)環(huán)境或一種情況非常熟悉，以至于凡是你感受到并接受了的、令你驚訝的東西，都不是來(lái)自外部世界，而是產(chǎn)生于內(nèi)心。我得出結(jié)論的過(guò)程就像一個(gè)人走在一條路上，先爬上陡峭的山坡，再穿越馬路，再經(jīng)過(guò)一個(gè)泉井，然后穿過(guò)一片森林：先是古老的、遮天蔽日的參天大樹(shù)，之后才是明亮的小樹(shù)叢。

　　漢娜既不會(huì)讀也不會(huì)寫(xiě)。

　　所以她才讓人給她朗讀，所以在我們騎車(chē)旅行時(shí)，才讓我承擔(dān)讀寫(xiě)的任務(wù)，所以當(dāng)她那天早上在旅館里發(fā)現(xiàn)我的字條時(shí)，才大發(fā)雷霆她猜測(cè)出了字條的內(nèi)容和我的期待，害怕自己出丑，所以她才逃避了有軌電車(chē)公司對(duì)她的提升作為售票員，她可以掩飾她的弱點(diǎn)，如果被培訓(xùn)當(dāng)司機(jī)，那她的弱點(diǎn)將暴露無(wú)遺，所以她才回避了西門(mén)子公司對(duì)她的提升而做了一名女看守，所以為了避免和鑒定專家對(duì)質(zhì)，她承認(rèn)了那篇報(bào)告是她寫(xiě)的。也正是因?yàn)槿绱怂旁诜ㄍド掀疵貭?zhēng)辯嗎?因?yàn)樗炔荒茏x那位女兒寫(xiě)的那本書(shū)又不會(huì)看控告詞，她才看不到為自己辯護(hù)的機(jī)會(huì)并為此做相應(yīng)的準(zhǔn)備嗎?也正因?yàn)槿绱怂虐咽艿剿厥庹疹櫟娜怂屯鶌W斯威辛嗎?是因?yàn)樗滤齻儼l(fā)現(xiàn)她的弱點(diǎn)而想殺人滅口嗎?也正是因?yàn)槿绱怂虐涯切w弱者納入她的保護(hù)之下嗎?

　　都是由于這個(gè)原因嗎?她為自己既不會(huì)讀也不會(huì)寫(xiě)而感到羞恥，所以她寧愿讓我感到莫名其妙也不愿自己出丑，這個(gè)我能理解。我對(duì)由于羞恥而去回避、拒絕、隱瞞、偽裝并傷害他人的這些行為有親身體會(huì)，但是，漢娜在法庭上和集中營(yíng)中的所作所為是因?yàn)樗龑?duì)不會(huì)讀寫(xiě)感到可恥嗎?她認(rèn)為做一個(gè)文盲比做一名罪犯更丟臉嗎?她比暴露自己是個(gè)罪犯更害怕暴露自己是個(gè)文盲嗎?

　　當(dāng)時(shí)和從那時(shí)以來(lái)，我經(jīng)常向自己提出這個(gè)問(wèn)題。如果漢娜的動(dòng)機(jī)是害怕暴露自己，那為什么不暴露自己是一個(gè)無(wú)害的文盲而要暴露自己是個(gè)可怕的罪犯呢?或許她認(rèn)為什么都不暴露就能蒙混過(guò)關(guān)嗎?她這么愚蠢嗎?她這么愛(ài)虛榮，這么邪惡?jiǎn)?為了避免暴露就去做罪犯嗎?

　　當(dāng)時(shí)和自那時(shí)以來(lái)，我總是拒絕這樣想。不，我對(duì)自己說(shuō)，漢娜沒(méi)有想去犯罪。她沒(méi)有接受西門(mén)子公司對(duì)她的提拔，而不自覺(jué)地決定做了女看守。木，她沒(méi)有因?yàn)樗齻優(yōu)樗首x過(guò)就把那些溫柔體弱的人送往奧斯威辛。她特別把她們挑選出來(lái)為她朗讀，是因?yàn)樗胧顾齻冊(cè)诒凰屯鶌W斯威辛以前的最后幾個(gè)月的日子過(guò)得好一點(diǎn)。木，在法庭上，漢娜沒(méi)有在暴露自己是文盲還是暴露自己是罪犯之間進(jìn)行斟酌。她并沒(méi)有三思而后行，她的行為舉止缺少策略性。她寧可被繩之以法，也不愿暴露自己是文盲。她進(jìn)行的斗爭(zhēng)不是為了自己的利益，而是為了她的真理、她的正義。那是個(gè)可悲的真理、可憐的正義，因?yàn)樗傄獋窝b自己，因?yàn)樗龔奈撮_(kāi)誠(chéng)布公過(guò)，從未完全自我過(guò)。不過(guò)，那是她的真理和正義，為此而進(jìn)行的奮斗是她的奮斗。

　　她必須要使出全身解數(shù)來(lái)。她不僅僅在法庭上要爭(zhēng)要斗，她必須要永遠(yuǎn)奮斗，其目的不是為了向世人顯示她能做的事情，而是向世人掩飾她不能做的事情。這是一種其起步意味著節(jié)節(jié)敗退，而其勝利隱藏著失敗的生活。

　　漢娜離開(kāi)我家鄉(xiāng)時(shí)的處境和我當(dāng)時(shí)對(duì)它的想象之間存在分歧，這種分歧不同尋常地觸動(dòng)著我。我曾十分肯定她是被我趕走的，因?yàn)槲以?jīng)背叛和否認(rèn)過(guò)她。她離開(kāi)了有軌電車(chē)公司確實(shí)逃避了一次暴露。不過(guò)，我沒(méi)有把她趕走的這一事實(shí)，絲毫沒(méi)有改變我背叛了她的這一事實(shí)。這就是說(shuō)，我仍舊負(fù)有責(zé)任。如果說(shuō)我沒(méi)有什么責(zé)任的話，是因?yàn)楸撑岩幻锓覆槐刎?fù)什么責(zé)任;如果說(shuō)我負(fù)有責(zé)任，是因?yàn)槲以?jīng)愛(ài)上過(guò)一個(gè)罪犯。

　　英文小說(shuō)連載《朗讀者The Reader》Part 2 Chapter 11

　　O NCE HANNA admitted having written the report， the other defendants had an easy game to play. When Hanna had not been acting alone， they claimed， she had pressured， threatened， and forced the others. She had seized command. She did the talking and the writing. She had made the decisions.

　　The villagers who testified could neither confirm nor deny this. They had seen that the burning church was guarded by several women who did not unlock it， and they had not dared to unlock it themselves. They had met the women the next morning as they were leaving the village， and recognized them as the defendants. But which of the defendants had been the spokeswoman at the early-morning encounter， or if anyone had played the role of spokeswoman， they could not recall.

　　But you cannot rule out that it was this defendantthe lawyer for one of the other defendants pointed at Hannawho took the decisions?

　　They couldnt， how could they even have wanted to， and faced with the other defendants， visibly older， more worn out， more cowardly and bitter， they had no such impulse. In comparison with the other defendants， Hanna was the dominant one. Besides， the existence of a leader exonerated the villagers; having failed to achieve rescue in the face of a fiercely led opposing force looked better than having failed to do anything when confronted by a group of confused women.

　　Hanna kept struggling. She admitted what was true and disputed what was not. Her arguments became more desperate and more vehement. She didnt raise her voice， but her very intensity alienated the court.

　　Eventually she gave up. She spoke only when asked a direct question; her answers were short， minimal， sometimes beside the point. As if to make clear that she had given up， she now remained seated when speaking. The presiding judge， who had told her several times at the beginning of the trial that she did not need to stand and could remain seated if she preferred， was put off by this as well. Towards the end of the trial， I sometimes had the sense that the court had had enough， that they wanted to get the whole thing over with， that they were no longer paying attention but were somewhere else， or rather hereback in the present after long weeks in the past.

　　I had had enough too. But I couldnt put it behind me. For me， the proceedings were not ending， but just beginning. I had been a spectator， and then suddenly a participant， a player， and member of the jury. I had neither sought nor chosen this new role， but it was mine whether I wanted it or not， whether I did anything or just remained completely passive.

　　Did anythingthere was only one thing to do. I could go to the judge and tell him that Hanna was illiterate. That she was not the main protagonist and guilty party the way the others made her out to be. That her behavior at the trial was not proof of singular incorrigibility， lack of remorse， or arrogance， but was born of her incapacity to familiarize herself with the indictment and the manuscript and also probably of her consequent lack of any sense of strategy or tactics. That her defense had been significantly compromised. That she was guilty， but not as guilty as it appeared.

　　Maybe I would not be able to convince the judge. But I would give him enough to have to think about and investigate further. In the end， it would be proved that I was right， and Hanna would be punished， but less severely. She would have to go to prison， but would be released soonerwasnt that what she had been fighting for?

　　Yes， that was what she had been fighting for， but she was not willing to earn victory at the price of exposure as an illiterate. Nor would she want me to barter her self-image for a few years in prison. She could have made that kind of trade herself， and did not， which meant she didnt want it. Her sense of self was worth more than the years in prison to her.

　　But was it really worth all that? What did she gain from this false self-image which ensnared her and crippled her and paralyzed her? With the energy she put into maintaining the lie， she could have learned to read and write long ago.

　　I tried to talk about the problem with friends. Imagine someone is racing intentionally towards his own destruction and you can save himdo you go ahead and save him? Imagine theres an operation， and the patient is a drug user and the drugs are incompatible with the anesthetic， but the patient is ashamed of being an addict and does not want to tell the anesthesiologistdo you talk to the anesthesiologist? Imagine a trial and a defendant who will be convicted if he doesnt admit to being left-handeddo you tell the judge whats going on? Imagine hes gay， and could not have committed the crime because hes gay， but is ashamed of being gay. It isnt a question of whether the defendant should be ashamed of being left-handed or gayjust imagine that he is.

　　由于漢娜承認(rèn)那篇報(bào)告是她寫(xiě)的，其他被告就可以輕松地出牌了。她們說(shuō)，凡漢娜一個(gè)人處理不了的事情，她就逼迫、威脅和強(qiáng)迫其他被告一起做。她把指揮棒攬?jiān)谧约菏掷?。她既?zhí)筆又代言，她總是做最后決定。

　　對(duì)此，做證的村民既不能證實(shí)又不能反駁。他們看見(jiàn)那熊熊燃燒的教堂被許多穿制服的女人看守著，門(mén)沒(méi)有被打開(kāi)。這樣，他們自己也不敢去開(kāi)門(mén)。當(dāng)她們第二天早上開(kāi)拔時(shí)，他們又遇見(jiàn)了她們，而且在這些被告中又認(rèn)出了她們。但是，由于只是在晨窿中相遇，哪位被告是發(fā)號(hào)施令者，是否真的有哪位被告在發(fā)號(hào)施令，他們也說(shuō)不清楚。

　　但是你們不能排除這位被告做了決定吧!另一位被告的辯護(hù)律師指著漢娜說(shuō)。

　　他們不能排除，他們?cè)趺茨芘懦?看到其他被告明顯地更年老，更疲倦，更膽小和更痛苦，他們也不想排除這種可能性。相比之下，漢娜就是個(gè)頭頭。除此之外，有個(gè)頭頭存在也減輕了村民們的負(fù)擔(dān)。他們?cè)谝换飮?yán)厲的、有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的女人面前沒(méi)有伸出援助之手總比在一幫不知所措的女人面前而沒(méi)有伸出援助之手要好得多。

　　漢娜繼續(xù)抗?fàn)幹?，?duì)的她就承認(rèn)，錯(cuò)的她就反駁。她的反駁越來(lái)越困惑，越來(lái)越暴躁，她的聲音不大，但其厲害程度令法庭感到驚訝。

　　最后，她放棄了爭(zhēng)辯，只是在被問(wèn)到對(duì)她才說(shuō)話。她的回答簡(jiǎn)短扼要，有時(shí)候甚至漫不經(jīng)心。好像為了讓人更明顯地看出她已經(jīng)放棄了，她現(xiàn)在說(shuō)話時(shí)也不站起來(lái)。審判長(zhǎng)也驚訝地注意到了這一點(diǎn)。在法庭審理剛開(kāi)始時(shí)，審判長(zhǎng)曾多次對(duì)她說(shuō)過(guò)不必站起來(lái)，她可以坐著講話。有時(shí)候我會(huì)有一種感覺(jué)，覺(jué)得法庭在審理接近尾聲時(shí)已經(jīng)厭戰(zhàn)了，想盡早把事情了結(jié)，大家都已經(jīng)心不在焉，都想在經(jīng)過(guò)幾周對(duì)過(guò)去的審理后再回到現(xiàn)實(shí)中來(lái)。

　　我也感到厭倦了，但是我卻不能把事情置于腦后。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，審理沒(méi)有結(jié)束，而是剛剛開(kāi)始。起初，我是一名聽(tīng)眾，突然之間我變成了參與者、一同游戲的人和共同決策者。我并沒(méi)有去尋找和選擇這一新的角色，但是我卻得到了它，不管我愿意與否，不管我是采取了主動(dòng)還是被動(dòng)。

　　如果我能做什么的話，我也只能做一件事。我可以去找審判長(zhǎng)，對(duì)他說(shuō)漢娜是個(gè)文盲，她并非如其他人所說(shuō)的那樣是個(gè)主角并負(fù)有主要責(zé)任。她在法庭上的言談舉止并不能說(shuō)明她特別固執(zhí)己見(jiàn)、不理智或者厚顏無(wú)恥，而只能說(shuō)明她對(duì)其控告詞和那本書(shū)事前缺乏了解和認(rèn)識(shí)，也是由于她缺乏戰(zhàn)略戰(zhàn)術(shù)意識(shí)的結(jié)果。這對(duì)她為自己辯護(hù)極為不利。她雖然負(fù)有責(zé)任，但是她所負(fù)的責(zé)任并不是像看上去的那樣重大。

　　也許我的話不能令審判長(zhǎng)信服，但是，我會(huì)促使他去思考，去調(diào)查研究。最終結(jié)果將證明我是對(duì)的。漢娜盡管將受到懲罰，但是她的罪責(zé)將會(huì)減輕。她盡管要坐牢，但是會(huì)早些時(shí)候被放出來(lái)，會(huì)早些時(shí)候重獲自由。她的爭(zhēng)辯難道不正是為了這些嗎?

　　是的，她是為此而抗?fàn)幍模撬辉笧榱双@得成功而暴露出自己是個(gè)文盲，她不想為此付出代價(jià)。她也不會(huì)愿意我為了她在監(jiān)獄里少呆幾年而出賣(mài)她。她可以自己討價(jià)還價(jià)，但她沒(méi)有那樣做，說(shuō)明她不想那樣做。對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)，為了她的自我價(jià)值蹲幾年監(jiān)獄也值得。

　　但是，這對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)真的值得嗎?她從這種虛偽的、束縛她的、令其喪失活力的、使其無(wú)法施展才能的自我價(jià)值中能得到什么呢?如果把用于掩飾真實(shí)謊言的精力用于學(xué)習(xí)，她早就能學(xué)會(huì)讀和寫(xiě)了。

　　當(dāng)時(shí)，我曾試著與朋友就這個(gè)問(wèn)題進(jìn)行探討。你設(shè)想一下，有人想毀掉自己，故意毀掉自己，你就是能挽救他，可你將挽救他嗎?你設(shè)想一個(gè)手術(shù)，病人服用了連麻藥都無(wú)法相比的毒品，但他又恥于向麻醉師開(kāi)口講他服用了毒品，在這種情況下，你能告訴麻醉師真相嗎?你設(shè)想一次法庭審理案，有一名被告將會(huì)受到懲罰，他是個(gè)左撇子，但是他為此感到羞恥。如果他不講出自己是一個(gè)左撇子，因而不能完成一個(gè)用右手實(shí)施的行為，你能對(duì)法庭說(shuō)明此事嗎?你設(shè)想一下，某人是一名同性戀者，作為同性戀他不會(huì)于某種行為，可是他又恥于做一名同性戀者而不說(shuō)明真相。這不是人們是否應(yīng)該恥于做一名左撇子或做一名同性戀者的問(wèn)題，您想一想，這是被告為自己感到羞恥的問(wèn)題。