英語(yǔ)幽默小故事7篇
若是你在學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)的過(guò)程中感到很枯燥，不妨來(lái)讀一些英語(yǔ)幽默小故事放松放松。英語(yǔ)幽默故事簡(jiǎn)短，內(nèi)容詼諧幽默，情節(jié)生動(dòng)有趣，相信在你在閱讀的同時(shí)也可以一起學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)哦。這次小編給大家整理了英語(yǔ)幽默小故事，供大家閱讀參考。
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英語(yǔ)幽默小故事1
My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.
我丈夫，麥克是個(gè)開(kāi)大巴士的。一次當(dāng)他剛要開(kāi)過(guò)一個(gè)無(wú)人上下車(chē)的車(chē)站時(shí)，一位乘客喊過(guò)有位老婦人要上車(chē)。麥克把車(chē)停靠在馬路邊，打開(kāi)了車(chē)門(mén)。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.
過(guò)了足有一分鐘，麥克才見(jiàn)到一位老太太拄著拐杖，慢騰騰地過(guò)著馬路朝車(chē)子走來(lái)。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.
麥克襯心地等她來(lái)到汽車(chē)旁上著臺(tái)階。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”
趁老太太打開(kāi)錢(qián)包找月票的工夫，麥克欲關(guān)門(mén)，老婦人阻止道:“等一會(huì)，我媽媽還在后面呢!”
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事2
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Bernie應(yīng)邀來(lái)到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie發(fā)現(xiàn)，不管問(wèn)他老婆什么問(wèn)題，Morris總要在每句話的前面加上一些親密的稱(chēng)呼，象蜜糖，我的愛(ài)人，親愛(ài)的，甜心等等。Bernie對(duì)Morris說(shuō)，“你們夫妻倆真夠親密的，結(jié)婚這么多年了，你還叫她叫得那么親密。”Morris低下頭，小聲地對(duì)Bernie說(shuō)，“老實(shí)跟你說(shuō)吧，三年前我忘記老婆的真名是什么了?！?/p>
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事3
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
兩個(gè)男人正在穿過(guò)叢林，突然，一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠(yuǎn)處，向他們沖來(lái)。 其中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”鞋，開(kāi)始穿上。另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著他說(shuō)，“你以為穿上這個(gè)就可以跑得過(guò)老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過(guò)它，我只要跑得比你快就行了?！?/p>
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事4
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
一個(gè)女孩去拜訪她的金發(fā)朋友，這個(gè)朋友最近養(yǎng)了兩只“狗”，于是女孩問(wèn)道：“它們叫什么名字呀?”
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
金發(fā)朋友說(shuō)，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?
女孩說(shuō)：“哪有狗狗叫這個(gè)名字的?！?/p>
"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
“那個(gè)……”金發(fā)朋友說(shuō)。“他們是監(jiān)視器!”
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事5
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.
壓力太大
多年以來(lái)我一直感到很疲憊，我曾經(jīng)把原因歸咎為缺乏睡眠以及來(lái)自于工作上的巨大壓力。但是，我現(xiàn)在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因?yàn)槲页?fù)荷工作。我們這個(gè)國(guó)家有2.37億人口。其中1.04億已經(jīng)退休了。還剩下1.33億在工作。有8，500萬(wàn)人還在上學(xué)，工作的就剩下4，800萬(wàn)。這其中還有2，900萬(wàn)聯(lián)邦政府雇員，真正做事的就剩1，900萬(wàn)人，又有280萬(wàn)人在服兵役，就剩下1，620萬(wàn)人在工作。從中再去掉各州和市政府的雇員1，480萬(wàn)人，還剩下140萬(wàn)人工作。但又有18.8萬(wàn)人生病住院，現(xiàn)在只剩下121.2萬(wàn)人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。這樣僅剩下兩個(gè)人在工作，就是你和我。而你卻坐在桌邊看笑話。
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事6
Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics
Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
Economists can supply it on demand .
You can talk about money without ever having to make any.
You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .
Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .
When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
學(xué)習(xí)經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)的九大理由
經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家們會(huì)武功：“小心我們的無(wú)影手?！?/p>
經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家們能夠做到有求必應(yīng)。
你可以不必掙錢(qián)而對(duì)金錢(qián)夸夸其談。
你可以開(kāi)始拉著臉說(shuō)“涓滴”這一術(shù)語(yǔ)了。
米克·賈格爾和阿諾德·施瓦辛格兩人都學(xué)過(guò)經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)，看看他們后來(lái)都成為了什么樣的人物。
站在失業(yè)隊(duì)伍里的時(shí)候，至少你會(huì)知道自己為什么失業(yè)。
假如重新安排“經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)”這個(gè)詞包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。
倫理學(xué)教導(dǎo)我們堅(jiān)守德行本身即是回報(bào)，在經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)中我們得到的教導(dǎo)則是獲得回報(bào)本身即是德行。
喝醉了的時(shí)候，你可以告訴所有人你只是在體驗(yàn)邊際效用遞減規(guī)律而已。
英語(yǔ)幽默小故事7
Nobel Prize in Economics
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.
(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)
諾貝爾經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)獎(jiǎng)
兩個(gè)持完全不同觀點(diǎn)的人都能夠獲得諾貝爾獎(jiǎng)，這種情況只有在經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)領(lǐng)域才會(huì)發(fā)生。
或者兩個(gè)持完全不同觀點(diǎn)的人能夠分享諾貝爾獎(jiǎng)，這種情況也只有在經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)領(lǐng)域才會(huì)發(fā)生。具體而言，繆爾達(dá)爾和哈耶克就是如此。
(有傳言稱(chēng)在神經(jīng)科學(xué)領(lǐng)域也有類(lèi)似情形，比如戈?duì)柤涂ü?，所以?jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家也許并非那么另類(lèi)。)